Living in Devotion to Love Itself

I have never quite fallen in love with Valentine’s Day, which I’m aware is somewhat ironic. Many couples I’ve worked with have agreed, citing the inherent stress of the occasion or even claiming they hate “Love Day.” And, of course, there are those who are single on Valentine’s Day and justifiably feel left out.

We can be devoted to our romantic partners, but devotion in its strongest form exists not just within one channel in our lives, instead emanating out into all we touch. Whether it’s directed toward a cause, our family/children, our healing and growth, or a spiritual path, devotion has the power to shape our actions, inspire us, and connect us to something greater than ourselves.

On days like Valentine’s Day, when the world places so much emphasis on romantic love, it’s easy to develop a sense of isolation. But devotion reminds us that love is not limited to roses, chocolates, or impossible restaurant reservations. It’s a force that comes from within, sustaining us no matter what we may be directing ourselves toward.

Devotion in Focus: What the Research Reveals

Love, an intangible force, is not explicitly named as one of the 22 capacities within the validated measure of spiritual intelligence I developed as part of my Ph.D. However, love is infused into several of the capacities, often expressed as “devotion,” a term frequently highlighted by the spiritually intelligent individuals I interviewed.[1]

Through my own and others' research, I found that higher scores on some of the spiritual intelligence assessment[2] questions, such as "I hold my work as sacred" or "I feel that my work is an expression of love," were associated with improved mental health,[3] job,[4] and work satisfaction,[5] resilience,[6] group productivity,[7] as well effective leadership.[8][9] This would imply that the most inspired and effective leaders (and, by extension, the most inspired and effective people on the whole) all embody a sense of wholehearted devotion. Their commitment to a larger purpose uplifts them and grants them access to freedom and strength. Motivated by love and grounded in unity, these individuals exude passion and empowerment, supporting positive impact for themselves and others.

Here are some of the quotations I gathered from interviews:

• “To me, devotion means opening one’s heart to feel and express love and commitment to the force of love—which to me is divine. It can also mean loving those around you, like your family. But it really entails maintaining that fundamentally loving approach to all life and ultimately everything in creation. It is a giving of oneself to love. And there is a sense of freedom and liberation that comes with that.”
• “My yogic Bhakti path of devotion to God involves seeing all reality as an expression of God. And from that perspective, all reality is knit together—made of one sacred fabric. And I naturally want to act, dance, and sing in service to all of it. It is ecstasy.”
• “‘Devotion’ means complete dedication to my mission and my work, but without attachment to the outcome. So, I can be wholehearted in my actions while still remaining free and lighthearted in my interactions.”

Devotion in Practice: A Valentine’s Gift to Yourself

Though often associated with spirituality, devotion is quite practical. Giving ourselves fully to our purpose fuels our resilience, allowing us to feel supported by the universe in return. This creates a powerful feedback loop, where devotion fuels action and action strengthens devotion.

This Valentine’s Day, whether you’re single or partnered, I invite you to reflect on all to which you feel devoted: people, goals, communities, self-improvement, or even ideas. Beyond acknowledging everything on that list, this also means ruminating on where you feel limited in your devotion. Let these questions guide you:

1. What is my emotional response to the word and notion “devotion”?
2. Is there any fear or resistance to it, perhaps a fear of losing my freedom or even myself?
3. What do I feel devotional love toward?
4. What challenges my ability to tap into and express that devotion fully?
5. What part of my life deserves more devoted attention?

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In the words of Pedro Arrupe, “Nothing is more practical than ... falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.”

Remember: While it’s normal to feel lonely on days like February 14, devotional love is within everyone’s reach: it is ignited from within.