Verified by 
Motivation
Searching for Meaning Through Running, or Any Other Activity
A Personal Perspective: Before committing to an exercise regimen, ask why.
Updated February 7, 2024 Reviewed by Lybi Ma
Start with Why
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”—Friedrich Nietzsche
Before you start making changes in your life, ask yourself why you would want to put yourself through discomfort that tends to define change. Why do you want to change? What will it do for you? Might it also do something for the people around you? If you can help it, would you like to avoid frequent trips to the hospital during your golden years? How important is your health to you?
We all have a why (and if you think you do not, it means you did not explore enough). Here is a story about mine.
I still remember a late evening drive between San Pedro and downtown Los Angeles. My mom was sitting in the passenger seat as I was driving my ’89 Hyundai Sonata right behind an ambulance that was transporting my father from a small community hospital in San Pedro to Good Samaritan Hospital in downtown Los Angeles. My father, who had a double bypass surgery only two years earlier, was scheduled for additional tests and a possible angioplasty procedure (that is, unblocking of a blood vessel, usually a coronary artery). I was only 18 years old, and I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders.
It was late evening and, uncharacteristically, 110 Freeway provided a smooth path to downtown where we were quickly dwarfed by large skyscrapers that led us straight to the hospital. We were given instructions consisting of the floor and room where my father would be staying, and we quickly met with his interventional cardiologist who assured us that this was a “routine” procedure and that he would be “all right.” Indeed, my father made it okay through angioplasty and was recovering in his room. After the procedure, a compression device was placed over the groin of my father’s right leg to prevent bleeding from the femoral artery through which the procedure was performed, and he reported immense pain in the area. He said: “Why the hell did they apply so much pressure?” And, “I feel like my leg will fall off.” His doctors and nurses would not budge, and he spent the rest of the night in great discomfort.
My father was fortunate to have another 15 years of relatively good life after that procedure, but I must emphasize just how relative the goodness of his life was. He spent most of his older years on a cocktail of numerous medications (all of which, of course, had side effects) and he had to carefully plan every time he traveled to ensure that he would have access to his medicine and medical care if needed.
When I reflect on my father’s life, I often wonder if he would do things differently had he known how much health-related suffering he would go through in his older years. Of course, my father knew, at least in theory, that eating unhealthy foods was not good for his health. After all, he was a physician so he must have known, but he still behaved as if the rules of medicine did not apply to him. Maybe he thought “Just this one time.” Or, “What’s only one baklava going to do.” Of course, it is never “just one time,” and it’s hardly ever just one baklava. My father did not drink or smoke so he may have thought that those healthy choices were protective enough. Unfortunately, it was not enough. My father suffered his first “mild” heart attack at the age of 45. While he recovered, he continued with the same lifestyle as before his heart attack all of which led to eventual angina pectoris (that is, chest pain) and eventual double bypass surgery in his early 60s and subsequent constellation of angiograms, angioplasties, and stent placements in his 70s. At the age of 79, my father lost his final battle with chronic heart disease. We are fortunate that we had him until 79, but we miss him. I miss him. Also, I’m saddened that the last two decades of his life were spent in such agony. Yes, it is agonizing to have multiple doctors telling you what other doctor you must see, what pills to take, how many times per day, what to eat and what not to eat and to have them poke, inject and palpate your body, and compress your femoral artery, real hard.
I loved and admired my father growing up. However, I realized that he had a weakness—sweet foods, and most other kinds of food. In addition to this weakness, as is often the case, he also cultivated a relatively sedentary life. As a neuropsychiatrist, he spent most of his days sitting at work, talking to his patients, and writing treatment notes, and at home he would often sit and read, with very little time devoted to any physical activity. I often wondered what would have happened had he started jogging, and eating less unhealthy foods while eating mostly healthy foods. What if? While I’ll never know the definitive answer to this question, I would assume that at the very least the quality of his life, if not the length, would be significantly improved had he made those necessary changes.
Of course, if it’s “meant to be” then we must learn to accept it. There are, indeed, things that we cannot change about our health and we’re all destined for an eventual demise, but how we lead our lives, and the quality of our lives could be in our hands if we commit to it. Our health should matter more than many other things that often take precedence over it. As a psychologist, I believe in behavioral commitment—committing yourself to a healthy lifestyle, first gradually, one step at a time, and then as an integral part of your life.
Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes baklava is just baklava, a sweet and yummy dessert, but the problem is that it is the collection of small decisions (including “just one baklava”) that we make each day that end up amounting to a big problem. The trick is to become aware of our health-related behaviors, including our eating patterns, and commit to eating healthy 80 to 90 percent of the time while allowing for guilty pleasures one day per week. At the beginning of your journey, you might be looking to that one day as a shining lighthouse, a destination you can’t wait to reach, but after some time, when you realize that no food, regardless of how tasty it is, can replace a sweet feeling of fitness, of wellness, that you’ll start, voluntarily, replacing ice cream with an apple, even on that “cheat” day. Indeed, while it takes a while to build wellness it too can be reinforcing. Once you start experiencing life in full color you’ll start, voluntarily, opting for healthier choices. When you experience that strong connection between that tired feeling after a run and feeling of vitality for the rest of the day you’ll start valuing the run, and the apple. Knowing your “why” will help you stick to the program in the initial phases, when it’s especially hard when you feel like you’re swimming against the current of fast-food ads and free cookies.
Maybe you run or work out all the time so you think you too can eat whatever you want. However, while exercise is an important part of a healthy lifestyle, it is not enough. Indeed, a healthy lifestyle must include a healthy diet and a good dose of socialization as well as spirituality. As already mentioned, physical wellness is the foundation of wellness, so it only makes sense to start there. That is my "why." What's yours?
