The 3 Best Ways to Support Your Partner's Growth

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Any loving partner wants the best for the other person in the relationship, and, often, the kind of support we offer our partners can catalyze or stifle their growth. It’s important to ask yourself: Are you helping them thrive? Are you creating the kind of relationship that lifts them up, inspires them, and helps them reach their fullest potential?

How we show up for our partners has a ripple effect, not just on their confidence but on the strength of the relationship itself. Relationships thrive on mutual effort and intentionality. When we focus on empowering the person we care about, we create the kind of bond where both partners can grow individually and together.

Often, the smallest actions, done consistently, can have the most profound impact. Encouragement and genuine recognition help create an environment where they feel valued and motivated to grow alongside you. Bringing out the best in your partner is purely about creating space for them to evolve in the way that best serves them.

A simple “I believe in you” or “You’ve got this” can shift someone’s entire mindset, while frequent criticism—even well-intended—can cause doubt to take root. The energy you bring to your relationship directly impacts how safe and supported your partner feels.

Here are three powerful ways to bring out the best in your partner, according to research.

1. Reinforce Instead of Reprimanding

It’s easy to notice what’s wrong—what your partner forgot to do, what they could have done better, or where they fell short. But constantly pointing out mistakes can make them feel like they’re under a microscope rather than in a supportive partnership.

People naturally respond better to encouragement than criticism. The more you recognize their efforts—no matter how small—the more motivated they’ll be to keep growing.

Classic research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family shows that a balance of positive-to-negative interactions is crucial for relationship stability and satisfaction. The study supports the idea that acknowledging and encouraging positive efforts rather than focusing on what’s wrong leads to greater motivation and growth within relationships.

Instead of focusing on what’s missing, try reinforcing what they’re doing right. If they put effort into something, acknowledge it. If they try to step out of their comfort zone, encourage them. A simple shift from “You never help with chores” to “I really appreciate you handling the dishes today” makes all the difference.

This shift in focus encourages growth, as people naturally respond to recognition and feel motivated to do more. You foster a supportive environment that empowers your partner to keep improving by recognizing their efforts or the fact that they are even trying, which also leads to a more fulfilling relationship.

2. Celebrate Effort Over Outcome

Shifting the focus from results to effort can significantly impact your partner’s motivation. In her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Carol S. Dweck explores how individuals’ beliefs about their abilities significantly influence their motivation and achievements.

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She distinguishes between a “fixed mindset,” where abilities are seen as static, and a “growth mindset,” where abilities can be developed through effort and learning.

Dweck’s research indicates that praising effort rather than innate talent fosters a growth mindset, leading to greater resilience and a willingness to embrace challenges. This perspective encourages individuals to view effort as a path to mastery, thereby enhancing personal growth and motivation.

For example, if your partner is working toward a fitness goal or learning a new skill, acknowledging their commitment—rather than just their final success—reinforces their confidence and motivation.

A simple statement like “I admire how consistent you’ve been with your workouts” or “Your effort to learn this new skill is inspiring” helps them feel valued beyond the result. This shift in perspective also reduces their fear of failure and encourages continuous growth, strengthening confidence in your partner.

3. Create “Champion” Moments

Positive reinforcement can be taken a step further by creating a “champion” moment, where you actively empower your partner by recognizing their potential in front of others. This social acknowledgment not only boosts their confidence but also provides external validation that can inspire them to keep growing.

For instance, you could organize a small surprise celebration with close friends or family to highlight an achievement your partner is proud of. Whether it’s a personal accomplishment, professional success, or overcoming a challenge, publicly recognizing their effort amplifies their sense of pride and self-worth.

Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that when a partner feels supported by their significant other during positive events—whether through recognition, encouragement or shared joy—it positively influences relationship well-being.

Additionally, another study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology provides evidence that sharing good news not only enhances the emotional value of positive events but also has broader social benefits. By encouraging positive feedback and enthusiastic responses from others, people can boost their self-esteem and cultivate a more trusting and supportive social environment.

Publicly acknowledging your partner strengthens both their self-esteem and eventually the relationship. This encourages them to continue striving for growth and creates an environment where they know their efforts are valued and supported.

So, as you move forward, ask yourself: How can I be a catalyst for my partner’s growth today? Sometimes, all it takes is a word of encouragement, some recognition, or simply showing up with belief in their potential. After all, when growth is nurtured within a relationship, it strengthens not only individual confidence, but also the bond you share. This way, you can enjoy a relationship dynamic where both partners continue to uplift and challenge each other in the best ways.

A similar version of this post also appears on Forbes.com.