When Has "Move Fast and Break Things" Ever Been a Good Idea?

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I was trained as a social worker. We enter situations that are complex all the time: families in crisis, medical emergencies, financial distress, natural disasters, just to name a few. Never ever in my training did a teacher or field instructor tell me to move fast and break things. Sometimes we did have to be speedy, like deciding to take a child out of a dangerous home. But a decision like that still had to be made with care, and we definitely tried hard not to break things. People’s lives are complicated enough, and breaking things does not uncomplicate anything.

Empathy takes effort

I have spent the past 20 years studying empathy. The unconscious part of empathy, affective response, is definitely fast: We aren’t even aware of it happening. That is typically the first part of empathy—having a physical reaction, such as tearing up when seeing someone else cry. But all the next steps of empathy require slowing down. We take stock of the situation: Why is the other person crying? Does it have something to do with me or is it the situation? If I were in the other person’s shoes, what might I be feeling? And while I am doing this empathic sensing, I also need to be aware of my own emotions, to not get swept away by the feelings of another. Rather, I should strive to gain understanding. Empathy is hard; it takes awareness, and it takes understanding—and that can take time.

Once we have trained ourselves to be empathic, we can do it rather quickly. In fact, it is vital to our collective well-being—the “glue” that holds us together. The eminent primatologist Frans de Waal considered empathy to be key to a healthy society. (You can read about it in his 2009 book, The Age of Empathy: Nature’s lessons for a kinder society.) Empathy nurtures humanity; however, empathy is not fast and it definitely is not in the business of breaking things.

Empathy should be nurtured, not broken

Anyone who tells us to move fast and break things that involve people’s lives lacks the insight one needs to have empathy. Mass firings of people who have built their lives around their job? That lacks empathy. Immediately stopping millions of dollars in aid to starving children? That lacks empathy. Locking out scientists who work on combating cholera? That lacks empathy. Dismissing meteorologists who warn us about pending hurricanes? That lacks empathy. The list can go on and on.

I am frightened by the tremendous lack of empathy on public display today. If those in the highest places of power, with the most visibility, can crash through people’s lives with no regard for their well-being, then we are going to experience the most unempathic of times, modeling the worst human behaviors. We are wired beings to mirror others. That can often work to help us understand others. But mirroring bad behavior without the self-awareness of empathy is behind moving fast and breaking things. Empathy helps us move slowly, nurture, and build things. Yes, it takes time, but that is what makes us caring human beings. Let us all take a breath, tap into our empathy, and work on being slow and caring.