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Sliding vs. Deciding

Observations on Love, Sex, and Commitment

Identity
What Is We-Ness Versus Enmeshment?

Scott M. Stanley Ph.D. on July 8, 2021

You know it when you see it. Some couples have a sense of "us" that reflects a strong identity of a couple, even while retaining the individuality of the two partners.

You know it when you see it. Some couples have a sense of "us" that reflects a strong identity of a couple, even while retaining the individuality of the two partners.

Attachment
Figuring Out the Commitment Dance

Scott M. Stanley Ph.D. on February 6, 2021

Many try to figure out if their relationship has the type of commitment to make it. The struggle often lies in interpreting the ambiguity and if it will resolve as one hopes.

Many try to figure out if their relationship has the type of commitment to make it. The struggle often lies in interpreting the ambiguity and if it will resolve as one hopes.

Divorce
How’s the Flight? Marital Happiness and Divorce

Scott M. Stanley Ph.D. on October 2, 2019

On any given day, most married people report being very happily married. Yet, the risk for divorce has been somewhere between 35% and 55% for decades. How does that work?

On any given day, most married people report being very happily married. Yet, the risk for divorce has been somewhere between 35% and 55% for decades. How does that work?

Marriage
How Is Marital Commitment Different? Three Questions

Scott M. Stanley Ph.D. on July 29, 2019

With ever more pathways open to couples, I argue here that one of the most important roles for marriage is to help two people clarify their commitment. I have three questions.

With ever more pathways open to couples, I argue here that one of the most important roles for marriage is to help two people clarify their commitment. I have three questions.

Marriage
Living Together Before Marriage May Raise Risk of Divorce

Scott M. Stanley Ph.D. on November 3, 2018

Many researchers had concluded that the increased risks of divorce associated with living together before marriage were gone. New evidence suggests they may be wrong.

Many researchers had concluded that the increased risks of divorce associated with living together before marriage were gone. New evidence suggests they may be wrong.

Marriage
The Risks for Couples Moving in Together

Scott M. Stanley Ph.D. on July 10, 2018

New CDC data shows just how common cohabitation has become. What are the trends? What are the implications for relationship development and families? Dig in for a serious look.

New CDC data shows just how common cohabitation has become. What are the trends? What are the implications for relationship development and families? Dig in for a serious look.

Marriage
Marriage Changes You Before You Marry

Scott M. Stanley Ph.D. on April 27, 2018

Do views of the future and money change more with cohabitation or marriage? A new study suggests cohabitation. I think it's marriage, and the effects start before the wedding.

Do views of the future and money change more with cohabitation or marriage? A new study suggests cohabitation. I think it's marriage, and the effects start before the wedding.

Play
“That Decision Wasn’t Made There”

Scott M. Stanley Ph.D. on February 9, 2018

When it comes to commitment, timing may not be everything but it's a lot of the things. This insight from a sports commentator of Super Bowl XII is not just about football.

When it comes to commitment, timing may not be everything but it's a lot of the things. This insight from a sports commentator of Super Bowl XII is not just about football.

Relationships
3 Signs That a Partner Is Truly Committed

Scott M. Stanley Ph.D. on July 5, 2017

When searching for lasting love, it’s too easy to put hope in false signs of commitment. By thinking clearly about good signals of commitment, you can improve your odds.

When searching for lasting love, it’s too easy to put hope in false signs of commitment. By thinking clearly about good signals of commitment, you can improve your odds.

Happiness
Good Times Together and Marital Happiness

Scott M. Stanley Ph.D. on May 8, 2017

Quit faking it. Making fun happen in your marriage means finding things you both enjoy doing — together. You don't need to do everything together, but find something that works.

Quit faking it. Making fun happen in your marriage means finding things you both enjoy doing — together. You don't need to do everything together, but find something that works.