Taylor Swift: Is It Okay to Get Over the Old With the New?

New beginnings.

Posted Jul 22, 2016

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Source: Getty Images

Just weeks after her split with Calvin Harris, singer-songwriter Taylor Swift jumped right into a new relationship with actor Tom Hiddleston. Photos first began surfacing in mid-June of the two of them making out on the beach, and since then neither has been shy about flaunting their love story to the world. Considering how recently Taylor’s last relationship ended, these events have raised speculation as to whether this is simply a ploy for media attention, an attempt to make her ex jealous, or actually true love. Whatever the case, Taylor appears to be moving on. It raises the question, is there a necessary timeline to follow when recovering from a breakup? If so, how soon is too soon to fall in love again?

When it comes to getting over a split there is a general sense that you should give yourself some time to heal from the loss of what you left behind before you explore a new connection with someone else. Some say that moving too fast is a way to ignore the pain. The truth is, though, that everyone deals with heartache in a different way. It is a very personal journey in terms of how each person manages the sadness of saying good-bye to someone they loved or sometimes even still love. Some people withdraw and go into emotional hibernation, unwilling to put themselves out there for a while and risk being hurt again. Those people have no immediate desire to meet someone new or even contemplate their next date or relationship. For others the opposite is true, and looking ahead to a new romance is just what they need to survive the heartbreak. Taking your personal inventory of what works for you, figuring out your own equation of moving faster or slower, can be helpful in gauging the best way for you to deal with the end of a relationship.

When moving on quickly is the choice, it makes sense to use your previous relationship as a barometer for what does and doesn’t work for you so you can enter this new romantic phase with self-awareness. Take some time to understand why your last relationship ended, and work to avoid those things in this new partnership.

For Taylor, it seems that swifter is better. Sometimes it takes courage to jump back into the pool again, to not let your heart harden and be willing to take a chance and open yourself up to someone you are just getting to know. It also takes bravery to begin to trust again. If moving on to replace your loss is what you want to do, then follow your heart – Taylor always does.

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