Katy Perry: How Do You Find The Light In The Darkness?

Can you get over a heartbreak?

Posted Oct 03, 2013

The first step you can take toward healing is to know that even though it may seem like forever, time does help to ease and heal pain. Allow yourself time to grieve with the knowledge that each passing minute, hour, and day is helping you get closer to feeling better. What is important to keep in mind is that while it may seem you can’t get over it, you can get on with it.

This leads to the second step, which is to get on with the business of your life. This is part of the process of moving forward, and even though it takes a genuine effort, you want to begin to put yourself out there again. Reach out to friends and family for support and companionship. Think ahead and begin to plan activities so that you are not spending too much time alone, especially when it comes to the weekend. This can feel daunting; when you are upset it is hard to go out and engage with other people. Think of it the way you would think of going to the gym—you want to keep building and strengthening your emotional muscles for coping so that they can get stronger. Balance out your sadness by staying connected and being involved with others. That will also help distract you from your painful memories. Focus on the present and what new things you will do, rather than on the past and what old things you’ve done.

Along those lines, the third tip is to start anew and forge a fresh start. Try different restaurants. Change the type of movies you see; if you always went to romantic movies try action or comedy. Consider learning a new activity: playing bridge or going hiking. By pushing yourself to do these things you open the door to not only making new acquaintances but new friends as well. Maybe you didn’t ask for this experience of heartache, but it can actually become an opportunity. It is a chance to enhance your independence and freedom of choice. It is an unusual time when you can do exactly what you want to do free from sharing or balancing someone else’s preferences. Even if you feel anxious, nudge yourself. You are already out of your comfort zone with the break-up, so by trying something you wouldn’t have done in the past, you might be surprised to find that you like it.

Katy is now dating musician and noted playboy John Mayer. Though famous for his peppered dating history, the pair have some creative compatibility. She calls him a “genius” and reports say that her new single Unconditionally is a love song written just for him. It has been a long road, but she's found her heart again. In the same way that Katy has rebuilt her self-esteem, you can, too. The most important words to keep in mind during this time of healing are be open to making new things happen.

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