Shame, Guilt and Their Defenses

Narcissism

The Blaming Narcissist

Mark Zaslav Ph.D. on March 10, 2025

Feeling deprived of admiration that they think they deserve, narcissists lash out by blaming others when they feel criticism or disapproval. Creating firm boundaries can help.

Feeling deprived of admiration that they think they deserve, narcissists lash out by blaming others when they feel criticism or disapproval. Creating firm boundaries can help.

Narcissism

Cultivating Narcissistic Entitlement

Mark Zaslav Ph.D. on May 20, 2024

The exaggerated sense of entitlement seen in narcissism often begins in childhood with an over-indulgent parent "protecting" the child from experiencing the shame emotion.

The exaggerated sense of entitlement seen in narcissism often begins in childhood with an over-indulgent parent "protecting" the child from experiencing the shame emotion.

Narcissism

The Manipulative Narcissist

Mark Zaslav Ph.D. on August 28, 2023

Narcissists are experts in manipulation. Learning about their favorite manipulative techniques can help protect you from invalidation and mistreatment.

Narcissists are experts in manipulation. Learning about their favorite manipulative techniques can help protect you from invalidation and mistreatment.

Narcissism

What Narcissists Hide

Mark Zaslav Ph.D. on January 23, 2023

The defining features of narcissism are an exaggerated sense of grandiosity and entitlement. But there are many aspects of the narcissistic personality that are hidden from view.

The defining features of narcissism are an exaggerated sense of grandiosity and entitlement. But there are many aspects of the narcissistic personality that are hidden from view.

Narcissism

Treating Adult Children of Narcissists

Mark Zaslav Ph.D. on September 28, 2021

Healing from the emotional neglect and invalidation by narcissistic parents begins with an honest review of your childhood experiences.

Healing from the emotional neglect and invalidation by narcissistic parents begins with an honest review of your childhood experiences.

Embarrassment

Why People with Borderline Personality Are Hostage to Shame

Mark Zaslav Ph.D. on July 1, 2021

People with borderline personality disorder can benefit when made aware of the role shame has in producing their symptoms.

People with borderline personality disorder can benefit when made aware of the role shame has in producing their symptoms.

Tuning into our subjective emotional reactions can help us to spot, and react to, narcissists.

Narcissists are preoccupied with envy. What are they expressing when envious?

Narcissism

Making Sense of the Narcissistic Mind

Mark Zaslav Ph.D. on July 14, 2020

Understanding how narcissists think can help you anticipate and cope with predictable dilemmas.

Understanding how narcissists think can help you anticipate and cope with predictable dilemmas.

Unconscious guilty beliefs can rob us of the gift of gratitude.

Embarrassment

Are You Guilt-Prone or Shame-Prone?

Mark Zaslav Ph.D. on February 11, 2020

Do you worry more about your impact on others or your self-value?

Do you worry more about your impact on others or your self-value?

Young people staring blankly at their phones while together in public. What are they seeking?

Guilt

Guilt, Shame and the Moral Big Bang

Mark Zaslav Ph.D. on August 5, 2019

Guilt and shame link us to a moral reality that only humans can see. How and why did this come about?

Guilt and shame link us to a moral reality that only humans can see. How and why did this come about?

Narcissism

Goodbye to the Narcissist in Your Life

Mark Zaslav Ph.D. on May 29, 2019

You have decided to reduce contact or cut ties with the manipulative, abusive narcissist in your life, but you feel fearful and guity. Here are some tips.

You have decided to reduce contact or cut ties with the manipulative, abusive narcissist in your life, but you feel fearful and guity. Here are some tips.

Narcissists can be charming, demanding, and challenging. But how do you decide when it is time to cut them loose from your life?

Narcissism

Assessing the Damage from Narcissistic Parents

Mark Zaslav Ph.D. on December 20, 2018

The children of self-absorbed parents suffer from the predictable effects of emotional neglect and manipulation. But there are paths to recovery.

The children of self-absorbed parents suffer from the predictable effects of emotional neglect and manipulation. But there are paths to recovery.

Narcissism

Committing Narcissism by Proxy

Mark Zaslav Ph.D. on December 13, 2018

Increasingly, parents seem to be putting their children on display. Are these parents narcissists?

Increasingly, parents seem to be putting their children on display. Are these parents narcissists?