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Parenting

5-Minute Weekly Habit That Changes Everything About Sex Ed

Talking about human sexuality with your kids is key to raising a healthy adult.

Key points

  • The important thing, for all of us, is to have the conversation about sexuality.
  • Discussing news stories fosters open, comfortable talks about sexuality for families.
  • There's always something more to be learned about human sexuality.

I would encourage anyone out there reading this, especially parents, to read your newspaper—whether it's online or the actual newspaper—and to, once a week, look for a story on human sexuality.

The Simple Method

It could be on the front page, or it could be in the business section, or maybe even in the sports section of the newspaper. But simply, at the breakfast table—hopefully on a weekend day where there's lots of time and everybody's very relaxed and the children are sitting at the table—just say, "Would you listen to this?" Then read that article, lean back in your chair and say, "What do you think of that?" And then just be quiet.

Why Conversation Matters More Than Doctrine

The important thing isn't pounding doctrine into anyone's head or saying these are the right thoughts about gender or orientation or behaviors or any of the rest of it. The important thing, for all of us, is to have the conversation, because we know from research that when people are social enough to talk together, they get smarter.

viarami / pixabay
Source: viarami / pixabay

What This Teaches Your Children

For children, even as young as six or eight years old, hearing mom or dad talk about sexuality at the breakfast table on the weekend communicates, Oh, this is an acceptable topic of conversation and Oh, we can talk about this openly and comfortably, and we can think about it and listen to each other share our thoughts, whatever they are.

Finding the Right Stories

It might be a letter to an advice columnist. (I mean, those are always good for one of these kinds of issues.) It might be a critical review of a rather racy movie or book. It could be in really just about any part of the newspaper. Even some front page crime story may be okay. All that really matters is that the article is about some aspect of human sexuality.

The Math That Will Amaze You

If you did that once a week, that would be 52 times in a year. And if you had an eight-year-old with you in your home for another 10 years, that would be over 500 conversations about sexuality. I think that's going to be a different 18-year-old than the 18-year-old who doesn't ever discuss sexuality.

Beyond Parenting: Relationships Too

In terms of a romance or a relationship with a significant other, I think the same thing is true, that it's important to discuss sexuality because sexuality is the well that never runs dry. There is always a new wrinkle to the conversation. There's always something more to be learned.

The Long-Term Benefits

So, reading the news back and forth to each other is going to help all of us get more relaxed, or technically speaking, desensitized to the notion of conversation about sexuality. This will result in more intelligent management of our children's sexuality, their future romances, and their selection of mates for long-term life partners.

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