There are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma. But that may short-change the future—which starts by our envisioning something better.
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New ideas and open conversations about sexuality
Steven Ing MFT
Affair-proofing your marriage isn't a guarantee against catastrophe, but it's a great insurance policy.
Abuse, at any level, destroys a couple's ability to engage in successful and productive problem-solving.
Becoming aware of these five simple steps will teach you how to protect, care for, and improve your relationships.
Do you and your partner struggle to resolve conflicts peacefully? Learn how to argue without abuse.
The secrets to a great sex life include knowing what you like and what you don’t.
Want to take the "meh" out of your marriage? It may be easier than you think.
Fair fighting is an essential part of any loving and lasting relationship. Learn how to fight fair while deepening intimacy.
Intimacy is the ability to safely share your life with another, free of any fear of censure, judgment, or even punishment, especially when it comes to sex.
Many people like the idea of partnership in their committed relationships, but the reality? Not so much.
People may agree on the meaning of equality, but how do they establish equity, or fairness, in their love lives?
In relationships, we don't mindfully enter into negotiation. Instead, we simply count on love to carry the day. But what if it doesn't?
How do you get your man to take advantage of new thinking, new discoveries, old truths, and old truisms about couples, families, sex, or love?
What I found in offering mental health treatment in a time of a global pandemic surprised me. I think it may surprise you too.
No one wants to be the other. This is true generally but it is especially true in every aspect of human sexuality.
Part 1: What we can learn from sex offenders will surprise you — as well as help you.
If a man has no friends or an intimate social support system, does that mean he doesn't need one? Nope. We're all members of a social species and friends are important.
Yes, we're a social species and yes, we're hardwired to fall in love, and yes we (mostly) all like sex. So what could possibly go wrong?
There are two types of people in this world: those who want to be free and those who want to have control. With which do you intend to build a romance?
Getting into a relationship based on equality doesn't just happen; you have to build it.
OK, so that last boyfriend was a real pain. Good riddance to him but, how to find one of the good ones?
Failure to integrate our sexuality and spirituality creates disaster because our values are there to guide us and without their illumination, we are blinded.
Religion is supposed to help us sort out right and wrong, understand how we should live, and so on. So what goes wrong?
In the last 30 years of my practice, those who have committed sex crimes have a 100 percent likelihood of three failures in their personal lives: career, friendship, and love.
If we can understand how people came to make sexually criminal decisions, then we can help prevent future sex crimes.
Part 2: When I ask sex offenders the question, "What would you like to get out of therapy?" the most common response over decades is, "I'd like to know how this happened."
For the last 21 years, I've worked as a sex offender counselor helping people who have been accused or convicted of sex crimes. We could all learn a lot from their stories.
Any close examination of the term reveals a number of the field's dirty little secrets. None are pretty.
OK then, if it's not sex addiction, what is the problem? Well, for starters, it's worse than you think.
So you think you're a sex addict? You might want to think again.
Most of us have experienced regret about getting into a committed relationship with someone who turned out, in hindsight, to have been so very wrong for us.
Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist for 30 years and is the author of two books on sexuality, We’re All Like This and Get Busy Living.