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Question and commentary on connections, both sexual and social
Isadora Alman MFT, CST
The "bad boy" and the "slut" are ever with us. In fantasy? In reality? As a realistic choice of life partner?
Is there an ideal time duration for any sexual act? Who determines it?
Togetherness used to sound cozy, but in these times it often sounds suffocating.
Lasting friendships, maybe not, but interesting personal connections can be made under the most unlikely circumstances.
As a therapist, I have been asked about the meaning of attractions that do not fit clients' worldviews.
When one partner breaks trust and cheats, does it have to mean the end of the relationship? Is it possible to recover from such a blow?
Holiday meals are often served with a huge helping of guilt. You do not have to eat it.
The fact that sex can be boring comes as astonishing to some and as a statement of all too familiar hopelessness to others.
Do you find sharing your bed with family member, friend, or lover a friendly act or an invasion of your privacy?
What are so many of us missing out on because we're not asking for what we want in bed?
Would you share a sexual dream with a co-worker? What do your dreams and fantasies say about you?
Can one predict the sexual interests of a nation by their Google searches for specific sexual terms?
Can an inexplicable fear of an unknown building be some sort of communication? If so, from whom, and what is being communicated?
I have never been able to wear high-heeled shoes and wonder how other women do. Are they more willing to suffer for the sake of beauty than I am?
Outdoor sex has a long history, and is often touted in the movies. Beware, however—like much in films, its pleasures shouldn't always be taken literally.
Kissing is much more than lips on skin—much, much more.
Those who go outside a monogamous relationship give themselves all sorts of reasons for doing so. They are not necessarily the same reasons they give their partner.
Do you know at first meeting or are you often disappointed that what you thought was the beginning of a relationship just wasn't?
Some people buck the trend of monogamous, two-party couples. Today, alternate living arrangements flourish—but they didn't in the 1950's.
The difference between naked and nude is not in the eye of the beholder but in the feelings of the person without clothes on.
Sex. Money. If there is an obvious power imbalance in your relationship is it something that can be re-negotiated? Perhaps yes, perhaps not.
How many adjectives can you come up with for old people? Are they positive, neutral or demeaning?
Do you or the man you're interested in have a small penis? If so, is there anything to do about it?
Surprising results from a recent porn-watching survey.
Is love at first sight real? How those who "knew" instantly explain it.
Does a twosome really require sex to be a satisfactory couple? Not everyone says yes.
The natural course of passion is often a surprise. Is something wrong when it begins to fade? Can it be kept alive?
When there is an obvious age difference within a couple, certain assumptions usually spring to mind.
Receiving flowers for any occasion is usually delightful. Think how even more delightful it is when there is no particular reason.
What does it mean when a partner refuses sex? Talk about it to be sure you're not blowing it out of proportion or misunderstanding entirely.
Isadora Alman, M.F.T., is a board-certified sex, marriage, and family therapist, lecturer, author, and syndicated advice columnist of "Ask Isadora."
I write about social skills and sexuality, all under the umbrella of communications. Clear communications—with oneself first, then with others—is the basis for getting what you want out of life.