10 Steps to Manage Kids' Screen Time

Let’s get this out of the way: Screen time is not going away. So, if you are reading this post to learn how to eliminate screens from your kids’ lives, I suggest you move to an isolated island in the Pacific or head north–really far north–where there is no Internet.

Like cars, supermarkets, and electricity, screen time is part of the modern world. Like these technologies, screens are a mixed blessing. Car accidents can kill people; supermarkets have replaced local organic foods with GMO-based products, and generating electricity pollutes the air and water. But just like driving safely, watching what you eat, and shutting off the lights can help you manage the muddle of modern world conveniences, parents can learn to manage their kids' screen time. How you choose to use these 10 action steps to manage screen time is a matter of how concerned you are and how much energy you want to put into it.

Recognize that some kids really need help in managing screen time, whereas others could teach you a thing or two about how to live without your phone. With nearly 90 percent of cell phone users within arms reach of their cell phones 24 hours a day, screens are with us everywhere we go–so managing screens is for everyone.

Before considering these 10 action steps, consider that screens have benefits, too. Want to get in contact with your kids? Text them. Want to plan a family trip to Washington, D.C.? Make your reservations online. But how about getting your kids outside to play? First, they have to detach from their screens. It’s not easy, but parents can learn to manage their children’s screen time.

The 10 action steps below are listed in order by the level of control needed. It is important to make your management style cooperative and communicative, perhaps participatory and controlling. If you can, start with the least restrictive steps. If your child’s screen time is already out of control, start with Step 4, as communication and listening will be crucial for managing screen time. Teens often respond very well to Step 5, but you’ll need to develop some trust with them first.

Cooperative Steps to Manage Screen Time

1. Accept and embrace screens. Screens are not going away, so it's best to view them as something that enriches your children’s lives. Learn how to leverage screens to help your children do better in school, be more open to experience, and be connected more deeply and regularly with family and friends. Become an expert on websites, videos, and online programs online programs for learning and skill development.

2. Model balanced screen time. It's mostly about what you do, not what you say. This basic rule of parenting fits when it comes to managing screens and virtually everything else. However, you might need to pay attention to how much time you spend with screens.

Adults use their screens about nine hours daily, exactly the same amount as teenagers. Step back, take a look at your screen time, and learn to manage it before you try to model for your kids. One simple suggestion is to measure your screen-time use with a tool such as Apple Screen Time or Google's Family link to know how you use screens.

Communicative Steps to Manage Screen Time

3. Start young. If your kids are already teenagers, it may be too late to cut back on screen time; instead, you may need to focus on making it more productive. However, treat screen time with young kids as if it were just another activity. Talk to them about it, engage with them during their screen time, and let them know you'll monitor them.

Creating healthy and balanced family activities that go beyond screens can and should start at an early age. Clear parental expectations that your children will find non-screen activities to keep themselves occupied should be the norm.

Source: Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

4. Talk, teach, and take part in screen time. If you act and talk as if screen time is bad for you or it’s always a high-calorie dessert rather than a nutritious dinner, your kids will learn to tune you out. The ability to navigate technology and screen time is an important skill you can do with your kids. Play games with them, join their social media feeds, and show them how you use screen time in your work.

Participatory Steps to Manage Screen Time

5. Recognize the enemy. Team up with your teens against the hidden enemy: large technology companies whose mission is to keep you glued to your screen. Read Adam Alter’s book, Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping us Hooked, along with your teenagers. This book will help you to understand how these companies “hook” you to your screens.

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6. Develop a healthy and balanced “Play Diet." Kids need to play to learn and interact with others, and many children’s toys and play are digitally based in the 21st century. However, kids (and adults) benefit from various play activities, including physical, social, creative, and unstructured play. Learn how to create a balanced "Play Diet" in which your kids’ play involves more than screen time.

7. Schedule or curate screen time. Parents need to become more involved when kids routinely overdo screen time or engage in inappropriate screenplay. Scheduling access to recreational screen time works well for many families—recommended amounts of time range from one to two hours of recreational screen time per day. Curating requires more involvement in working with your children to select games, sites, and online activities that fit your criteria.

Controlling Steps to Manage Screen Time

8. Own and control technologies. Require young children have permission to use games, computers, and devices belonging to the family. It is more difficult for tweens and teens. The simplest method could be to have all cell phones and online tools put away safely at a specified time, simultaneously with the Internet shut down at home. Your kids will probably stay off screens without Internet access and their phones.

9. Choose and use parental screen time controls. There are dozens of great tools for controlling your children’s access to technology. However, many teens and tweens know tricks for circumventing these. It is imperative that you keep your passwords secret and learn some other tricks to make these tools effective.

10. Consider therapy or placement when there is evidence of serious compulsion. Internet gaming disorder is rare. However, it is time to act when excessive screen time appears to cause impairment at school, socially, and in self-care. Look for clinicians who understand addiction and teens. Inpatient treatment may be warranted in extreme cases, but try everything else first and consider very carefully before using this option.

These 10 action steps to manage screen time can help you to know where to start in this process. They can be very helpful in creating a home where your child gets the benefits of screen time. By starting young, modeling modest screen time, and creating a home where a balanced “Play Diet” is expected, you can combat the overwhelming lure of screen time.