Growing Confidence Through Action

Every decision we make, every opportunity we pursue (or avoid), is shaped by our readiness to take risks. Decisions such as speaking up in a meeting, starting a new career, moving to a different city, or simply trying something new require courage to step beyond the familiar. And these choices ultimately shape our future path. But, too often, our anxiety holds us back. We hesitate, procrastinate, and choose safety while recognizing that growth requires taking risks.

Individuals with intense anxiety prefer the predictable and familiar routines. The familiar routines reduce anxiety. Avoiding discomfort can increase anxiety over time, as the brain becomes conditioned to link discomfort with danger rather than growth. In the short term, avoiding risks feels safe. In the long term, it limits us.

For example, people with social anxiety problems can easily cope with anxiety by avoiding social situations at the expense of their professional and personal lives. That is why people feel more comfortable instant messaging each other than having a face-to-face conversation. The more they try to escape anxiety and its triggers, the worse it gets and the smaller their world becomes (May, 1981). Safety behaviors are crutches that give short-term relief but interfere with learning.

Courage is an antidote to an anxious mind (Pury, 2010). Courage is an important aspect of positive psychology that allows one to overcome personal limitations and pursue a full life (Diener, 2012). Being a courageous person is what maximizes one’s chances to grow and develop throughout one’s life. Courage is not a matter of feeling no fear. As Mark Twain said, “Courage is not the lack of fear, it is the acting in spite of it.”

For example, a shy person who manages to give a public speech has shown courage. It takes a courageous decision for a shy person with poor social skills to overcome their immediate risk (fear of rejection) and ask someone for a date. Patients with panic disorder display courage when they expose themselves to a feared condition.

Courage is a learnable skill that enables us to thrive in every aspect of our work and life. Perhaps the best way to think of courage is to treat it as a muscle. Some people are born with better muscles than others, but everyone can improve their muscles through practice.

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Practicing small acts of courage (things that make you uncomfortable) can expand your comfort zone. The more we stretch ourselves, the more we expand what feels possible. The successful practice of courageous behavior leads to the development of personal resources, such as self-confidence, to overcome obstacles.

Courageous individuals draw strength from their social network. They also provide social support to others. The availability of social support reduces anxiety and stress. After all, it feels easier to face the adversity (e.g., loss of a loved one) when you have a close friend that you can rely on. When you have strong social support, you don’t have to use as many of your own personal resources to cope with the adversity.