Lisa Thomas LMFT

Save Your Sex Life

Tips and Tricks for Managing Erectile Dysfunction w/o Pills

Causes and Treatments of a Common Sexual Dysfunction Without Medication

Posted May 28, 2015

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Erectile problems can happen to men of any age.  There are many factors that contribute to ED including poor health, untreated medical problems, medications and pornography use.  Many men struggle with understanding when they are experiencing situational sexual dysfunction verses when is your erectile issue an ongoing problem that requires medical help. Many of the tips and tricks listed in this blog help without the use of medications.

First of all, it is normal that men will lose their erections about 25% of the time.     Having realistic expectations for your sexual performance is important so you don't set yourself up for failure.

If you are able to get and maintain an erection 75% of the time or more then chances are your erectile issues are situational, not biological.

That means that the situation you are in may be contributing to your ED verses a biological cause.  Things like having too much to drink or being nervous can cause situational ED whereas having high blood pressure that effects your ability to get or maintain an erection is biological ED. 

Another factor to consider with Erectile Dysfunction is are you waking up with erections in the morning?  If the answer is yes then chances are your ED is situational.  If you are not waking up with erections anymore, then your ED is most likely biologically based and seeing a Urologist or Family Practice Doctor for help would be appropriate. Having biologically based Erectile Dysfunction makes you are good candidate for medications such as once a day Cialis or Viagra.

Something else to consider with your ED is your porn use.  If you are masturbating to very stimulating porn on a regular basis then it might be difficult to get as aroused in the bedroom with your partner.  Watching video pornography is very stimulating and often men have difficulty creating that same level of arousal or stimulation with their partners.  Consider masturbating without technology as visual images in your head are less stimulating then watching something live. Try this for two weeks and see if your erection quality improves.

Another factor that contributes to ED is not having enough stimulation before beginning or attempting sex.  Many men have a sexual script that is kissing for a minute or two and then trying to proceed to intercourse. 

As men age they require more stimulation up front to get and maintain an erection firm enough for sex.  Engaging in some foreplay either on you or on your partner is a great way to get your arousal levels up and get an erection that is firm enough for sex.  Many men begin to rush the process of sex once they experience ED.  They worry that they will lose their erection so they rush rather than go slow understanding that rushing will only make the problem worse.

You can also consider using a cock ring or penis ring if you are able to get an erection but have trouble maintaining it.  Cock rings work by trapping the blood inside your penis so it remains harder for longer.  You can purchase one in a sex store or online for about $5 and you put in on over your penis and testicles when you are half hard and keep it on until you are finished with sex.  It’s a great cheap fix for erectile issues.

Another tip is to make sure you communicate with your partner what you like during the process of sex.  Many men are not communicative about what really turns them on.  If you are not aroused by what is going on, then you might experience ED.  Make sure you tell your partner what turns you on.  Communicating about intimacy should also lead to feeling more connected with your partner aiding in relaxing when you are sexual together.

Experiencing ED can also be a reason to try not penetrative sex.  Try planning a sex session with your partner hat isn't focused on your erection at all.  Things like kissing, licking, sucking, foreplay and teasing all are super stimulating and don't focus on penetration.  Feel free to bring each other to orgasm using these ideas and see if you are able to relax and enjoy the experience.  Many men feel like failures when their erections become unreliable.  Having a few successful sexual sessions that lead to orgasm without penetration can put the fun back into having sex.  Many couples find success using this technique and begin to reengage sexually instead of avoiding being sexual for fear of failure.

Please feel free to call to set up an appointment if you still have questions or concerns about your sexual health or your relationship.  I see clients from all over the world and would love the opportunity to connect with you.

720-489-5150 or lisa@onlinecouch.com

Best, Lisa Thomas

Licensed Marriage, Relationship & Sex Therapist

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