To Medicate or Not to Medicate: That Is the Question

As I’m writing this, I remember the day I realized how many years my child suffered because I didn't get her the help she needed. I’m her mother. I’m also a professional in the field. Yet, I didn't see what she needed for so long.

Very often, parents go through the gut-wrenching debate of whether to medicate their child for a mental health issue. Often, parents ask me about it; I read about it on chat groups and discuss the topic at work. It’s a difficult decision. How do you know you're making the right one?

You may hear parents say that they’re worried about side effects and that medication may be too much for a child. The counterargument I always hear is this: If your child had cancer, would you give them radiation? If your child had an infection, would you give them antibiotics? I suppose these are fair questions. But the struggle is real. How do you know it's the right time to medicate your child? What happens if the parents don't agree?

Hindsight is 20/20. My daughter was diagnosed with anxiety at 14 and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) at 15. Honestly, I didn't hesitate to start her on medications. It wasn’t an internal debate or an issue with my husband. The doctor recommended it, and I was at my wit's end with her behaviors and with the school calling me every day with complaints. I wanted a literal magic pill to solve all our issues.

We were very lucky. The first dose of Zoloft took away most of her anxiety. We started having rational conversations again. Several months later, we began ADHD medication, and it changed all our lives. My adorable, loving child came back. I no longer had the loud, screaming, physically and verbally aggressive teenager. I had the warm, affectionate young lady I had missed so much.

At 5 years old, my daughter had severe temper tantrums in preschool and she was easily distracted in elementary school. I missed so many signs. For years, our house was chaos. She was suffering, and our other kids suffered as my daughter navigated stigma in school. And I didn't give her the help she needed. Was I in denial that she needed a diagnosis? Was I in denial that she needed medication? I can look back now and say yes. But I didn't even think about it when I was living it. As a mother, this is my biggest regret: I didn't help my daughter when she needed it. Therefore, when other parents ask me now if they should medicate their child, all I will do is share my story, my regrets, and the questions that linger in my mind: How different would our family's experiences have been had we put her on medication earlier? How different would her school years have been? It hurts my heart, even now, that I didn't help her earlier.

Should you medicate your child? It’s your call. You're the parent and you know your child better than anyone else. Can you help alleviate their pain? Can you take away some of the challenges? Are you OK living with the regret? I know I made the right call for my child, but not soon enough. My regret isn't that she is on medication; my regret is that I did it too late to prevent her pain and suffering.

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