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Just a few days ago, I learned that a colleague and fellow psychologist committed suicide. This was shocking, devastating news. While we were not close friends, and I had not talked to him in several months, he was someone I genuinely liked and admired. He was a past president of our national organization, a president-elect and recipient of a lifetime achievement award. He was a giant in the field of college student mental health and resilience. I know he had taken a new job in recent months and moved to another city, but I would not presume to know what circumstances lead to his taking his own life. What I do know is that dozens of people cared about him and wished that he’d have only reached out. His passing is a great loss to many people, most importantly, his family, his coworkers and staff.
Reluctance to seek help is not all that unusual among mental health professionals. In past blogs, I’ve shared my lifelong struggles with depression and the help I’ve received from other psychologists. I have found in my own life that it became more difficult to reach out as my career progressed. The more prominent I became, the more significant pressure I put on myself to have it all together and put on a strong, competent façade even in those times when I was struggling. This was in spite of my clear awareness that seeking help and psychotherapy makes an enormous difference. Why then would I, or any mental health professional, hesitate to get help?
Mental health professionals are just as susceptible to stigma as anyone else. While we may have tremendous compassion for somebody else who struggles with anxiety, depression, or other problems, we tend to be much more critical with ourselves. Despite understanding that these are treatable problems related to our brain and nervous system, we fall into the same trap as others. We fear others will see us as somehow less than, inadequate or less competent if we struggle. This is clearly nonsense. If we had heart disease, strep throat, or cancer, most of us would not hesitate to tell friends or seek and receive support. We’d allow ourselves to back off of responsibilities, rest and recover and we’d welcome help and concern from others. In contrast, when struggles are related to our mental health, we behave as if this is somehow shameful. All too often, we hide our struggles, try to push on, and keep up all of our responsibilities and commitments, which will usually lead to worsening symptoms and general misery.
A few months ago, TAO Connect sent out a survey asking workers how comfortable they feel asking for time off for a doctor’s appointment or medical procedure and the overwhelming majority of respondents said they would feel very comfortable. We then asked how comfortable they would feel asking for time off to get effective help for a mental health problem and only a small percentage of people felt comfortable asking for that.
Some clear conclusions:
- Stigma continues to be a problem preventing people from getting help.
- As professionals in the field, we need to normalize and make acceptable mental health struggles.
- In the meantime, we must create and disseminate multiple digital tools such as TAO Connect, mobile apps, written materials and other tools to help those who struggle with seeking help in order to get the best help quickly and conveniently.
As I grieve this loss, I also consider the implications for my struggles. It is clear that I must examine my reluctance to seek and accept the support and help of others when I am having difficulties. I also need to ensure that I communicate the acceptability and normalcy of sometimes struggling with all those around me. Examining my tendency toward internalized stigma is an essential step in moving to greater acceptance and understanding of mental health difficulties.
