How to Make the Internet More Civil

Since its invention by Al Gore, the Internet has revolutionized the way we interact. In some ways, this has been a huge benefit to society. Skype and Zoom technologies allow us to communicate face-to-face with family, friends, and colleagues on the other side of the world with a convenience that past generations could not have conceived was possible. But, as we all know, there have been serious drawbacks with this technology. With mounting evidence of its potential for harm, many state legislatures are attempting to legally limit social media’s influence on young people. Virtual communication has also contributed to a drastic decline in civic dialogue (something that we’re in desperate need of as we ramp up for another acrimonious presidential election). People routinely say things to others on the Internet that they wouldn’t dare say in person.

Is there anything we can do to reverse this trend? Are there feasible ways to limit the Internet’s facilitation of toxic communication? To answer this question, it’s worth thinking about what contexts lead us to cooperate. What are the roots of human civility? Scientists who study human evolution posit that one likely way we developed the ability to cooperate is through what is called indirect reciprocity. Sometimes called ‘third-party altruism,’ indirect reciprocity is a sort of game based on the rule, ‘you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch someone else’s, and then he’ll scratch yours.’ Underlying this rule is the importance of reputation. Whether we are aware of it or not, we all strategically maintain our reputation, putting forward our best behavior when we are being observed.

In other words, if I develop a reputation as someone who is altruistic, I am more likely to be the recipient of someone else’s altruism, because others will see me as likely to return the favor. If we think of altruistic acts as a form of social currency, we can consider people who are altruistic as having higher “credit scores” than people who are selfish. In times of need, those who have developed a reputation of giving may be more likely to be helped than those who have earned a reputation as a miser. Through the long course of evolution, this game of indirect reciprocity helped altruism and cooperation develop among human societies.

One source of evidence for this comes from finding that when our behavior is observed, we tend to act in more civil ways. Think back to grade school to confirm this. If a teacher is present in the room, the class bully generally keeps his behavior in check. But once the teacher leaves, the behavior of children can quickly become problematic.

Fascinatingly, the observer does not even have to be human, or even an animate object (but it probably has to resemble a human). In one ingenious experiment, researchers showed that a coffee mug with a picture of eyes on it could do a fair job as a watchdog of prosocial behavior. They measured contributions to a box used to collect money for coffee that was shared in the commons area of a university dormitory. The coffee mug was situated at eye level, near the area where coffee drinkers are supposed to give to the collective fund. Every week, the picture on the coffee mug would alternate. On the odd weeks, there was a picture of human eyes, looking in the direction that a would-be coffee drinker would be positioned. On the even weeks, it was a mug with a picture of flowers. During the weeks when eyes were watching, students gave three times the amount to the collective coffee fund compared to when the mug displayed a picture of flowers. Another intriguing experiment: If you put a picture of eyes near a bus stop, people will pick up more litter than when there are pictures of flowers.

So how can we use this information to help us behave better in our Internet communications? One of the takeaways here is that anonymity can contribute to toxic virtual communications. There’s very little credible threat to our reputation when we create a username or X handle that has no relationship with our true identities. People thus feel more unencumbered by traditional social norms of civility that generally govern social interaction. The natural result is that they behave in less civil ways.

Related to this, when we interact with others via the Internet, the subconscious parts of our minds sometimes forget that, behind the username or X handle, there are actually people. This is the principle behind road rage. We sometimes forget that, inside that large metal box on wheels, is a person. Of course, we don’t consciously forget, but our subconsciousness dehumanizes them a bit, and we are more likely to slip into less civil—and sometimes even dangerous—behavior. This is why ‘road rage’ is a phenomenon, but ‘pedestrian rage’ is not. (To be fair, a Wall Street Journal article from 2011 reported on researchers studying the pedestrian equivalent of ‘road rage,’ but it rarely makes headlines; unfortunately, someone is shot or seriously injured as a result of road rage every 16 hours.) As pedestrians, we see each other’s faces and—in both conscious and subconscious ways—acknowledge our shared humanity; not so as motorists.

How could we apply these principles to help improve Internet civility? Online anonymity needs to be reduced and humanity should be enhanced. (Estimates suggest that 26 percent of X/Twitter users are anonymous.) X and other social media should require that usernames and face photos correspond to people’s actual identities. Newspapers should get rid of anonymous commentary sections at the end of their articles. If someone wants to comment, their username ought to be linked to their verified real name and a picture of their face. Based on principles of human psychology and how we evolved, this structural change to Internet platforms would subtly but powerfully remind us that, even in a virtual world, we are interacting with other people. On a more personal level, take a moment to look at someone’s face before you send that snarky email or post a crude X comment. This won’t solve all the problems of the Internet, but it will be a step in the right direction at a time when we desperately need more civility.

This essay is adapted from my 2024 book, Purpose: What Evolution and Human Nature Imply About the Meaning of Our Existence.