Can Shopping Increase Loneliness?

Be honest: Have you ever bought something to cure a bout of loneliness? It’s OK—I have, too! Social relationships and interactions with other people are among the most important determinants of day-to-day happiness. We intuitively understand that our moods are better when we are spending time with others, and a large body of scientific literature backs this finding. Despite this, a lot of people report being lonely. Approximately 20-33 percent of adults in the United States report being lonely on a weekly basis.¹

Loneliness and Spending Money

I’m willing to bet you’ve heard the term retail therapy. When we’re in a funk (or lonely), we sometimes turn to shopping as an antidote to negative emotions. Buying something new can elicit excitement, joy, and comfort. Just as ibuprofen can cure pain temporarily for an injury, buying new things can curb loneliness in the short term as well.

But is this the whole story? Consumer researcher Rik Pieters investigated this question, which he called the "material trap." In other words, does being lonely increase materialism, which then further increases loneliness?

What the Research Says

To answer this interesting question, data were collected from more than 2,000 participants in the Netherlands five times over a six-year period (2005-2010). The study measured a variety of demographic variables such as gender, age, education, and income, along with the key variables of materialism and loneliness. Because measures were collected across time, the research was able to investigate whether loneliness reinforces materialism, whether materialism reinforces loneliness, or both.

The findings were clear: Loneliness increases materialism, which then perpetuates more loneliness. The loneliness-to-materialism pathway was the stronger one, although both were significant. Specific measures of loneliness illustrate how this unfolds psychologically. Loneliness increases materialism because lonely people agree more with concepts of possessions defining success (example statement: Some of the important achievements in life include acquiring material possessions) and that acquisition is a pursuit of happiness (example statement: I’d be happier if I could afford to buy more things).

For the materialism-to-loneliness pathway, higher agreement with acquisition centrality (example statement: I like a lot of luxury in my life) was the critical driver. When materialism is top of mind, people seem to become even more fixated on the acquisition and enjoyment of material purchases. Instead of calling up an old friend, they may go online to buy a new pair of shoes.

Explaining the Cycle and How to Break It

The relationship between loneliness and materialism is not one-way. Lonely people may turn toward possessions for comfort, status, or self-definition; over time, that material focus may further weaken social connection, creating a self-reinforcing loop.

Although buying new things is not a practical long-term replacement for social relationships, there is a time and place for treating yourself. Just as having an epic dessert or watching your favorite movie after a bad day can provide a much-needed pick-me-up, buying yourself something nice to boost your mood can be effective. Purchases are predictable, controllable, and immediately rewarding in ways that people may not be.

The danger is not enjoying nice things but, rather, asking our purchases to do the work of other people to make us feel worthy, loved, and included. Before making a purchase the next time you feel lonely, ask yourself, “What feeling am I hoping that this will give me?” If the answer is connection, status, or recognition, the unmet need may be relational rather than material. And if your gut tells you connection is what you really want, pause the purchase for 24 hours and use that same energy to get in touch with a friend to see if they are free for a meal or coffee soon.