How Narcissists May Use Money to Get Their Way

Narcissism is defined as a self-centered personality style characterized as having an excessive preoccupation with oneself and one’s own needs. The term is named after the Greek mythological figure Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection and withered away in despair because his reflection could not love him back¹. Colloquially, you have probably heard someone you know describe their boss or former romantic partner as a narcissist. At extreme levels, narcissism is classified as a clinical personality disorder that can be diagnosed by a professional.

Telltale symptoms of narcissism may include selfishness, little empathy or remorse, and the devaluation and manipulation of others (related to a similar concept dubbed Machiavellianism). When it comes to money, researchers have found that people use money as a way to express their identities and even their self-esteem when making purchases. How might narcissists use money in systematically different ways compared to less self-centered people?

1. Spending on Status

Narcissists are more likely than the average person to use money as a means to enhance their status, either real or perceived. This may entail buying designer bags, expensive jewelry, or driving flashy cars. The reasons for this are twofold. The first reason is that narcissists may simply believe that they deserve the best products that money can buy. The second reason is that narcissists may think other people will perceive them as higher status when they own nicer things, thus leading to increased likability and admiration from those around them.

2. Money as a “Golden Leash”

When it comes to social relationships, narcissists tend to prefer control. Money has the ability to provide freedom and control, which is why narcissists will be more likely than the average person to want to control personal finances in their close relationships. This may manifest itself as a romantic partner who controls a joint financial account, forcing their partner to request money from them in order to make purchases. In parent-child relationships, it involves the narcissistic parent controlling the child’s account even as the child extends into adulthood and beyond.

3. Making Risky Bets

Stemming from the enhanced level of self-belief narcissists have, they may find it easier to repeatedly make risky investments, get involved with gambling, take on debt for a long-shot business venture, or have a low savings account due to a belief that all of the stars will align for them as life unfolds. The extreme levels of self-confidence that are characteristic of narcissism shine through in the domain of financial risk. Narcissists often believe they can’t lose, and they are willing to put their money where their mouth is because of it.

Now that we’ve covered three ways narcissists use money differently compared to the average person, a few points are worth noting. Just because someone buys luxury items, uses money as a form of control, or makes risky bets does not prove that someone is a narcissist. Many psychologically healthy people use money in these ways from time to time, and there is definitely a time and place for buying nice things, managing money in relationships, and certainly in making a financial bet on yourself.