"63% of sexual assaults are not reported."
And you know that... how?
Answer is, you DON'T know it. You either made it up or lifted it from someone else who made it up.
Dreams have been described as dress rehearsals for real life, opportunities to gratify wishes, and a form of nocturnal therapy. A new theory aims to make sense of it all.
Verified by Psychology Today
By Lyn Yonack, MA, MSW, BCD-P
This is part one of a two-part series on the impact of sexual harassment on mental health.
All about power
Despite its name, sexual abuse is more about power than it is about sex. Although the touch may be sexual, the words seductive or intimidating, and the violation physical, when someone rapes, assaults, or harasses, the motivation stems from the perpetrator’s need for dominance and control. In heterosexual and same-sex encounters, sex is the tool used to gain power over another person. And as #MeToo attests with heart-breaking clarity, sexual abuse affects children and adolescents as well.
Far and away, most sexual assaults and sexual violence are perpetrated by men, and typically arise within asymmetrical power dynamics, where the perpetrator occupies a more powerful or dominant position in relation to the victim. Although the vast majority of #MeToo stories describe occurrences within the family, with a classmate, a man on the street, in a bar or at a party—where men assert power bestowed on them by mere virtue of their being men, the events that propelled the recent social media outcry involve powerful, prominent men who use their positions and the perks of their power to seduce, coerce, manipulate, and attack. These men have what their victims, who are in less powerful positions, want and need: a job, good grades, a promotion, a recommendation, an audition, a role in a movie, a place close to the center of power. They confuse and control by dangling enticements with one hand and wielding threats, implied or explicit, with the other.
In October 2016, a month before the presidential election, a 2005 tape came to the public’s attention. In raw footage from behind the scenes on Access Hollywood, Republican candidate Donald Trump bragged boldly about kissing women without their consent, grabbing at their genitals, and simply having his way: “… when you’re a star, they let you do it.”
In a subsequent debate, CNN’s Anderson Cooper called the actions that Trump described “sexual assault.” Trump called it “locker room talk.” Whatever the term, the behavior and the attitude ultimately proved inconsequential, not sufficiently meaningful or outrageous to derail Trump’s election victory. In January 2017, Trump took up the position as the most powerful man in the Western world.
Yet, today, almost exactly one year later, scores of women—and a number of men—are stepping up and speaking out. They tell heartbreaking, terrifying stories of rape, assault, harassment, and abuse at the hands of powerful men—in Hollywood and New York, in politics and journalism, in religious and educational institutions—taking advantage of their powerful positions. One by one, by the thousands, women are joining around #MeToo to lend support to each other and voice their outrage, intent on being silenced no more.
What is sexual violence?
Sexual violence involves unwelcomed sexual contact of any type including, yes, grabbing genitals and kissing without consent. Assaultive behavior ranges from talk, texting, touch, and exhibitionist or voyeuristic behavior to rape and murder.
It is sexual assault whenever words and actions of a sexual nature are imposed against another person’s will. The perpetrator may use force, threats, and manipulation or sweet talk and flattery (or a combination).
Who does what to whom?
While men are subject to sexual abuse, harassment, coercion, humiliation, and subjugation, sexual assault is far more likely to be committed against women by men. By and large, whether the victim is female, male, transgender or child, men are the perpetrators.
According to the CDC and the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC), almost 1 in 5 women (18.3 percent) reported experiencing rape at some time in their lives, as compared with 1.4 percent of men.
Those same organizations reported the following:
The effects on mental well-being
When individuals experience their world as particularly threatening and unsafe, their risk of emotional distress and mental illness escalates. Even occasional abuse reinforces a sense of powerlessness and can cause or contribute to depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Moreover, because victims are commonly blamed (Aren’t they asking for it by the way they dress? Why did they comply? Why didn’t they resist more? Why didn’t they go to the police?), many hold their secrets in silence, shame, and suffering. Perpetrators count on society’s tendency to blame the victim to keep their victims silent.
Within a social context
Too often society turns a blind eye to sexual assault and violence. In many ways, the ethos of our culture encourages the use of power over others and disdains vulnerability. So long as contemporary culture reinforces traditional constructs of masculinity, ignores the subjugation of women, encourages silence, justifies violence as an appealing or inevitable expression of power, blames the victim, and enacts oppression in all of its forms, sexual violence will persist.
At the same time, the current clamor on social media, in the press and in public discourse can give us hope that sexual violence, objectification, subjugation, and humiliation will no longer be tolerated in silence. However, when speaking out is not enough, organizations like RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) offer crucial support, information, resources, and advocacy. The nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization, RAINN operates the confidential National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE, online.rainn.org and rainn.org/es) in partnership with local sexual assault service providers across the country and the Safe Helpline for the Department of Defense.
Lyn Yonack is a psychoanalyst and psychotherapist in private practice in Great Barrington, MA and on the faculty of Berkshire Psychoanalytic Institute, Adjunct Faculty in the Erikson Institute of the Austen Riggs Center, and a member of Western New England Psychoanalytic Society.
"63% of sexual assaults are not reported."
And you know that... how?
Answer is, you DON'T know it. You either made it up or lifted it from someone else who made it up.
The data are provided by the The National Sexual Violence Resource Center and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Glumshanks, you have misquoted the author of this post.
You wrote (and in quotation marks): "63 percent of sexual assaults are not reported".
This is indeed unknowable, but the actual quote is:
"Rape is the most under-reported crime: 63 percent of sexual assaults are not reported to police". Many sexual assaults are simply not reported to police because of the stigma attached, and the difficulty of proof and a percentage is easily obtainable..
The rest of my comment is around the words of the author who writes:
"Assaultive behavior ranges from talk, texting, touch, and exhibitionist or voyeuristic behavior to rape and murder.
It is sexual assault whenever words and actions of a sexual nature are imposed against another person’s will".
On the face of it, these words seem reasonable and comprehensible. However, the pendulum has swung so far across, that the words have lost meaning. 20 years ago it was a common understanding in law that nobody has the right to be protected against being offended. People had the right to be protected against being harassed.
The author's talking about assaultive behaviour ranging from talk ... it is sexual assault whenever words ... of a sexual nature are imposed against another's will, scare me.
In today's climate, a woman need only talk about an "inappropriate" comment or "inappropriate" suggestion, to annihilate a man or his career.
I eagerly await the swing of the pendulum back again, where, if a woman makes an allegation of an "inappropriate" suggestion of comment by a man, and it is legally tested and found without merit, she will face legal sanctions in the form of a fine or imprisonment. Today if a woman makes an allegation of rape and the man is found guilty its 40 years in jail. But if the woman is found to have made up the story, it's 2 years in jail.
In the meantime, I bask in schadenfreude as I read about societies where written consent is required for any sexual contact and where basically men tread dreadfully carefully in case of a perceived crimen injuria, inappropriate sexual innuendo, microaggression of whatever kind. It's all very proper and well-thought out, but where is the excitement, the desire, the challenge, the risk - all of which are so crucial in the mating game.
Ah yes. I know I am a sexist pig, a chauvinist and a white supremacist who grew up in the old boys club and never grew out of it. Pity my poor long-suffering wife to whom I have been married for nearly 40 years. We spawned 3 sons, all of whom are happily married and lead productive and meaningful lives. Yep, they have trained their wives well!
A certain amount of this information is gotten at by going through emergency room and other clinic statistics. Such records, while if not giving away personal information would not be violating patient confidentiality, would be able to be used to confirm that so many individuals were brought in for injuries or exams post sexual assault, but chose not to go on and report it to the police. In CA, at the time I worked with Rape Counciling, we had a lot more women (and men) chose to do rape kits than actually go on to reprot the crime.
Hope that helps clear some stuff up.
Anonymous wrote:"63% of sexual assaults are not reported."
And you know that... how?
Answer is, you DON'T know it. You either made it up or lifted it from someone else who made it up.
Gumshark, you are so right! This argument proceeds under the false premise/assumption that the "perpetrators" are automatically guilty. Just because someone accuses another of sexual assault, does not mean that it actually happened. Furthermore, in America, there is a presumption of innocence. Therefore, unless the assailant has been tried and (rightfully) proven guilty, they are innocent. Therefore, this argument is inherently flawed. In addition, this argument unfairly vilifies men given that it proceeds on the assumption that most if not all men are the ones committing sexual assault. This article is garbage written by an extremely biased author.
Interesting read. Have you done research concerning prison sexual assaults/rape and the numbers with males/females as well?
Thanks
The need for power seems to go hand-in-hand with feelings of shame.
Here's to making our world a safer place for all.
Funny that you lead with Trump when the quote said they "let you do it". It's ugly, but let's take a look at the list, shall we? Next piece may explore why leftists rape:
— Producer Harvey Weinstein— Accused by dozens of women of sexual harassment or assault. Fired by The Weinstein Co. and expelled from various professional guilds. Under investigation by police departments in New York, London, Beverly Hills and Los Angeles. He denies all allegations of non-consensual sex.
— Actor Jeremy Piven — Accused by three women of sexual misconduct. He denies all allegations.
— Actor Kevin Spacey — Accused by at least 14 men of sexual misconduct or assault. London police reportedly investigating a sexual assault. Fired from 'House of Cards' and replaced in Ridley Scott's completed film 'All the Money in the World.' His former publicist has said he is seeking unspecified treatment.
— Filmmaker Brett Ratner — Accused by at least six women of sexual harassment. Playboy shelved projects with Ratner and Ratner stepped away from Warner Bros. related activities. He denies the allegations.
— Actor Steven Seagal — Accused by two women of rape. He denies the allegations.
— Comedian Louis C.K. — Accused by five women of sexual misconduct. Planned release of film "I Love You, Daddy" halted. Netflix special canceled. He says the allegations are true and has apologized.
— Actor Ed Westwick — Accused by two women of sexual assault. The BBC pulled an Agatha Christie adaptation from its television schedule and halted production on a second sitcom starring the "Gossip Girl' actor. Los Angeles police are investigating. He denies the allegations.
— Actor Dustin Hoffman — Accused by woman of sexual harassing when she was 17. He has apologized for his behavior.
— 'Mad Men' creator Matthew Weiner — Accused by one woman of sexual harassment. He denies the allegation.
— Actor Robert Knepper — Accused by one woman of sexual assault. He denies the allegations.
— Actor Jeffrey Tambor — One woman alleges sexual misconduct. He denies the allegation.
— Writer-director James Toback — Accused by hundreds of women of sexual harassment. Beverly Hills police investigating complaints. He has denied the allegations to the Los Angeles Times.
— Director-producer Gary Goddard — Accused by one man of sexually molesting him at age 12. He was unavailable to immediately respond.
— Producer Chris Savino— Accused of harassing up to 12 women. Fired from Nickelodeon. He has apologized for his behavior.
— Amazon executive Roy Price — Accused by one woman of sexual harassment. He resigned from Amazon.
— Journalist Mark Halperin — Accused of harassing about 12 women while at ABC News. Book contract terminated. Fired from job at NBC News. He has denied some of the allegations.
— New Republic publisher Hamilton Fish— Multiple sexual harassment allegations. He has resigned from the magazine.
— New Republic editor Leon Wieseltier — Accused of sexually harassing numerous women. Removed from the masthead of The Atlantic magazine. He has apologized for his behavior.
— NPR news chief Michael Oreskes — Accused of inappropriate behavior or sexual harassment by at least four women while at The New York Times, NPR and The Associated Press. He has been ousted from NPR.
— Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner — Accused by one man of sexual harassment. He says he did not intend to make the accuser uncomfortable.
— Billboard magazine executive Stephen Blackwell — Accused of sexual harassment by one woman. He has resigned from the magazine.
— Artforum publisher Knight Landesman — Accused by multiple women of sexual harassment and sued by one woman. He has resigned from the magazine.
— Webster Public Relations CEO Kirt Webster — Accused of sexual assault by one woman. Firm renamed and Webster is "taking time away'"
— Celebrity chef John Besh — Accused by 25 women of sexual harassment. He has stepped down from the company he founded.
I sense a pattern....
Francis, I think you’ve missed the point that Lyn Yonack was making; that is, that the explosion of sexual harassment and sexual assault claims of the #MeToo movement came bursting forth in a particular cultural context that began brewing just last year amid the high profile reports of Donald Trump’s actions captured on tape. I didn’t understand The author’s perspective to be at all partisan, merely as observing American culture.
Brenda says "reports of Donald Trump’s actions captured on tape."
And, my comment is not partisan. Let's just get things straight. No ACTIONS were captured on tape or by photograph, etc. What you heard was not uncommon braggadocio...aka...locker room banter.
Did he also actually do what he claimed? Perhaps so (likely even, I figure) but you and several MILLION other people do not seem to understand that words are not proof of actions. How in the heck is that possible?
Gasp, could it be partisan bias perhaps?
"A lot of sexual harassment stuff in the news, and I couldn't help but notice a very disturbing pattern emerging, which is that many of the predators, not all, but many of them are Jews."
"I don't like when Jews are in the headlines for notorious reasons. I want 'Einstein Discovers the Theory of Relativity,' 'Salk Cures Polio.' What I don't want? 'Weinstein Took It Out.'
--Larry David
Larry the joke is not yours. And unless you’re Jewish (which we don’t know) your comment is antisemetic and irrelevant. This post is about sexual harassment and the impact on victims’ mental health, posted on Psychology Today not Breibart. How does posting this joke address the importance of the this issue.
First, you address Larry, instead of addressing Your Local Plumber.
Secondly, the word is antisemitic and not antisemetic.
Thirdly, why do you quote Breitbart as a contrast to Psychology Today? Is Breitbart your go-to place to feel sick or, better, yet, vindicated?
Fourthly, what is this use of the royal "we" in your comment ...(which we don't know) ... ? Do you feel you really are regal or do you merely want to appeal to the majority (we) to buttress yourself?
Fifthly, Larry David is the comedian who made up the joke.
Sixthly, my final comment is regarding the staid, formal, serious, stone-faced, self-righteous tone of your post. You seem so utterly without any levity or humanness - just plodding seriousness in the face of everything.
This type of utter humourlessness was also manifest by the author of this post - not sure if it is Lyn Yonack or the humourless bunch at the American Analytical Society.
I had originally responded to Your Local Plumber (openly and manifestly extremely right-wing, who makes many comments about Jews, Goyim, Shiksas etc).
I am Jewish and the way it felt right to comment on his post was to talk of (now I have to be careful so I am not, yet again, expurgated) 3 words.
Here they are:
1 Them, 2 Pesky 3 Jews.
This was offered as a parody - laughing at the trouble the Your Local Plumber seems to have with Jews. Far more useful than an apoplectic explosion of indignant rage and fury at him.
Somehow, my comment got deleted. Can't be because of "Them", can't be because of "pesky", and can't be because of "Jews" because all of these words are accepted in English and are not like the n-word or the c-word or the f-word which so offend.
I get it now!
I should never have responded to your Local Plumber with the words "Them pesky Jews at it again".
I should have said "How dare you quote such an awful anti-semitic joke in such a serious journal? It's pesky white-supremacists like you who do damage to the world".
But I answered lightly - didn't take his bait.
And here's the irony of it all. His utter delight in seeing my post deleted - he actually has posted asking why my post was deleted.
Well done PT or Lyn Yonack or the humourless bunch at the American Analytical Society. Your expurgating the sole post which actually confronts Your Local Plumber in his terms, has left him with the last laugh.
Why not deleted this as well!
Appreciate your saying how patently inappropriate Larry’s lame-o comment is.
What joke? I don't think Larry David was at all joking. He was articulating an observation and, clearly, the pattern he discerned bothered him. I see no problem with him pointing it out.
Let me add: I worked in the financial industry in NYC in the 80's which was when the first big insider-trading indictments began. One day, my boss came back from a group lunch and seemed kind of depressed so I asked him, "what's up, what happened at lunch?" He said, the primary discussion was about how most of the guys being arrested for financial crimes were Jewish. He and most of the others at the lunch were also Jewish --- so they were concerned about it.
There's no question that abuse of power and sexual violence transcend partisan politics and polarization. One would hope that compassion for victims and concern for justice would as well.
Francis is right. You took a shot at Trump for political convenience. Trump is indeed crude but Bill Clinton is a noted sociopathic sexual predator who got a pass on rape, (and still gets a pass) because of his political leanings. If any creep is a poster boy for unabated sexual harassment and outright assault, it's the doddering ex-presidential slob now camped out in NYC.
BTW, as a side note, agree about the power angle, but would also toss in the question of inadequacy from the context of the abuser. A Harvey Weinstein and others like him had power, but they probably at least subconsciously realized that they are messes in other dimensions. So use sexual aggression to try to prove themselves wrong about themselves. Comment on this?
Practical, you’re using “whataboutism”! No one disputes Clinton and others but one is currently president and the other isn’t. One was impeached and the other admitted on tape that he grabs women’s genitals and called it just “locker room talk”. Both and all who act this way are sexual assaulters. Whataboutisms attempt to say see those guys do it too so what does it matter. Trump, Weinstein, Moore etc all need to be called out for their behavior which is based in their power over others.
Grant, you prove Francis' point. Clinton was impeached for lying under oath, not rape. Because the oily MSM trashed the women that Clinton assaulted as directed by the DNC. And cheered when that piece of pathological criminal trash was acquitted by the Senate.
And re: "Trump, Weinstein, Moore etc all need to be called out..." Hmmm... No Democrat politicians in your short list like Bob Menendez who apparently likes to cavort with teenage prostitutes, (with Bill Clinton riding shotgun.)? How come he's not on your list of miscreant sexual predator slobs?
If Moore gets bounced for demonstrated ephebophilia, fine with me. Washington is saturated with Reptiles on both sides of the aisle. Gerry Studds, Newt Gingrich, Bob Packwood. Yeah, DC should tear down the statues of Civil War figures and replace them with the sexual predators so the public can throw rotten fruit at them in disgust.
To Mike and Local Plumber guy (or whathaveyou), why not add something substantive to the conversation instead of seeking to provoke, make inflammatory statements, critique spelling, etc.? This is merely the comments section for a particular point of view that you are free to disagree with, but hopefully in a responsible, adult manner. You can choose to behave reasonably and respectfully. If not, then face the music (and the moderator) like a grown up and accept your absurdity being yanked off the comments.
Hello Brenda
Thank you for weighing in.
Here is a wonderful quote from Oscar Wilde.
“Criticism is the only reliable form of autobiography.” It tells you more about the psychology of the criticizer than the people he or she criticizes".
It therefore of course applies to my criticisms and opinions - and your comments about my posts might be spot on.
Hhhmmm.
Does the quote apply to you too?
I wonder what your criticisms say about you?
Fact is, much of what I comment on deals with what was written and takes issue with logic, content and so on.
Read your last sentence to me and see how much is content and how much is judgement.
Astute professionals can formulate a viable diagnostic hypothesis just from reading someone's criticism.
They might formulate any number of viable diagnostic hypotheses reading my posts.
Based on your comments, I guess you are an astute professional.
I hope that the author of this piece will deign to perhaps respond to my question.
I had a discussion the other day the following question.
If sexual assault is about power (in the sense that you've described it here), why when widespread pornography is introduced into a society, rates of rape drop?
There's an article from this website dated January 14, 2016 by Micheal Castleman on this very topic with the related research and studies.
If, as you say, "he motivation stems from the perpetrator’s need for dominance and control," why would pornography reduce that motivation?
Could you offer a suggestion or point to a theory of why this phenomenon of more porn = less rape is seen?
Thank you very kindly for your time.
I’d have to more fully research this claim; however, I would hypothesize that pornography would fuel fantasies of dominance and power, potentially diminishing the need for such scenarios to play out in reality.
1. Its a false dichotomy. You are acting like these two positions: "1. Sexual Assault is about sex. 2. sexual assault is about power." are mutually exclusive. Why can't it be about both?
2. You completely ignored the research on convicted rapists and how they respond to pornography. A meta-analyses found that rapists respond more to porn of non-consensual sex than of consensual sex. McKibbin, William F. Shackelford, Todd K. Goetz, Aaron T. Starratt, Valerie G. "Why Do Men Rape? An Evolutionary Psychological Perspective." Review of General Psychology. 2008, Vol. 12, No. 1, 86–97. DOI: 10.1037/1089-2680.12.1.86. page 89
Isn't the entire reason that BDSM exists because some people find power differentials sexy? Doesn't that suggest that sexual motivations and power motivations are not mutually exclusive?
That's a very good point which should have the author and others scrambling to do research on the topic. But the conclusion here was in the title with scant evidence for it presented in the text. No citations and no rationale.
I was in a abusive and neglectful marriage for almost 12 to my now ex-wife Margaret. My ex-wife was always the more sexually dominant one and more often than not I would given to her request. In fear that rejecting her would upset her or hurt her . Before we got together her goal in life was to be a pornstar. even though I work two full-time jobs and I was the one primarily taking care of our children. After I discovered her affair and her sneaking this man into our home while my children were there. I did not want to touch her but I was not ready to throw in the towel either. She said she wanted to work on the marriage and sex was going to have to be part of it. She forced herself on me and I felt like I had no choice but to give in because I wanted to save our marriage and our family. After she was done with a smirk on her face informed me that I can no longer file on grounds of adultery. Her mother told her that if she could get me to have sex with her the court would throw out that complaint. I understand why it's not reported it's embarrassing you feel so completely and utterly dirty then like it's all your fault. If you're close to your abuser a fear of retaliation from them their friends were their family is unbearable. I'm not sure if anyone would believe me. For the next two months of her being in our home anytime she would demand sex I would give in to her I felt like I didn't have a choice. After she finally moved out the idea of anyone touching me made me physically sick. Physical contact from anyone weather intimate or not left me so uncomfortable that I would want to die. Even being touched by my children made my heart race.
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