The New Sexy: How to Sensualize Your Life

A way of life that will make your days delicious and reduce stress

Posted Jun 30, 2011

woman eating chocolate
For years I've been obsessed with all things Italian. I recently read the most delicious book, Four Seasons in Rome by award-winning writer Anthony Doerr. Reading Doerr's book is an exquisite sensual journey through the food, sights and sensations of life in Italy - I would read it while I ate, which doubled my enjoyment.

That same week I presented at a conference called "Sexy Healthy Wealthy Women". Rather unexcitingly I was the "Healthy" part, but as several people pointed out there's not much point in being sexy or wealthy if your health is the pits.  That made me feel better.

Sitting in the audience just before giving my presentation, I was delightfully surprised by an on-stage interview with Danielle Kershaw, the "Inner Bombshell Coach". I'm pretty conservative and wasn't sure what to expect, yet I grew increasingly fascinated as Kershaw, whose mother is French, explained how she lived. She taught us to move through a day as if it's a collection of heavenly chocolates waiting to be unwrapped, every action and choice inhabited by a deeply appreciative sensuality.

According to Kershaw, sensuality is a way of life. It's not a switch that you flip on just for stereotypically sensual or sexy moments. From the moment she wakes up, Kershaw focuses on being sensually engaged through every part of her day. Breakfast for her and her girls would never consist of cereal hastily shaken into a bowl and eaten standing up. Kershaw loves serving them fresh buttery croissants, beautifully presented and served on exquisite hand-painted china.

She wouldn't dream of wearing clothes that don't make her feel alive and beautiful, nor would she expect anything less from her daughters. And it goes without saying, of course, that sleeping in a beautiful silk nightgown is mandatory. Whether or not there is someone else around to actually witness this is totally secondary and quite irrelevant.

One of her most exciting concepts was sensuality as stress management. If she's in her car driving to an important meeting, she might listen to some lovely music while driving in. After parking, before getting out of the car she'll take some gorgeous lavender-scented hand cream out of her purse, rubbing it slowly into her hands while inhaling the scent.

Any time that you're stressed, she emphasized, you can choose to engage momentarily in something deliberately sensual and take yourself into a calmer, more relaxed state. This is very similar to the concept of mindfulness yet much more yummy, I love it!

Though making your life all about pleasure can be a recipe for trouble, I think it's a wonderful idea to take time to be more present and enjoy and create what feels beautiful to you. As for me, I'm doing my best to follow this. Last week, instead of donning my usual comfy jeans for a long plane flight, I wore one of my favorite silky dresses with beautiful sandals. I took the time to leisurely paint on some heavenly-scented lip gloss, and carried on some delicious snacks with me. I discovered that this even made dragging my suitcases through miles of airport hallways feel wonderful (the sandals may have been high-heeled but I made sure that they were comfortable!).   Merci, Danielle.

To learn more about Danielle Kershaw's work, visit

Dr. Susan Biali, MD is a medical doctor, wellness expert, life coach, international speaker, flamenco dancer and the author of Live a Life You Love: 7 Steps to a Healthier, Happier, More Passionate You.

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