Likes and Lies: The Effects of Influencers on Teens

By Robin Stern and Salar Korangy

With over 30 years of experience as a psychoanalyst and an expert in gaslighting, I have collaborated with colleagues at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and Facebook Meta to explore the insidious effects of social media. This post is in collaboration with Salar Korangy, a high school junior and teen—in the thick of it all—who participated in a group I co-lead with Jessica Hoffman, Ph.D., on teens and social media.

Social media has become a central and inescapable part of teenage life, and influencers are at the center of it. Whether it's fashion, beauty, or fitness, these influencers shape how teens think, what they wear, and even how they feel about themselves. It’s no secret that influencers can be both inspiring and problematic, even dangerous. For teens and parents alike, understanding how influencers work and setting boundaries is key to navigating this digital world.

Why Teens Follow Influencers

Teens follow influencers for different reasons, but they’re all looking for someone they can relate to—or aspire to become. Girls might gravitate toward beauty, fashion, or self-care influencers for makeup, style, or body positivity tips. These influencers can be role models, offering confidence boosts and self-expression tips. But there’s a flip side: Constant exposure to flawless photos and polished lives can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-esteem issues, or an obsession with perfection.

For teen boys, the pull is often toward sports, gaming, or lifestyle influencers. They may be inspired by the drive to succeed in a competitive space, from gaming tournaments to extreme sports to making money. However, some influencers promote more toxic behavior, glorifying aggression, risk-taking, or a win-at-all-cost mindset. This can lead to stereotypes and unhealthy expectations about success, masculinity, or even life goals.

Despite the differences in content that different groups of people and genders consume, both males and females share similar struggles regarding influencer culture: comparing themselves to polished, often unrealistic versions of success and happiness they see online.

What Are Influencers Really Influencing?

While some influencers promote positivity and awareness, others push ideas or ideals that can be damaging. One of the most harmful aspects of influencer culture is how some influencers attempt to gaslight their audiences—creating a reality where teens feel like they’re never enough or won’t be enough unless they buy a specific product or engage in particular behaviors. They make their lives look effortless while hiding the privilege, access, money, or behind-the-scenes work that goes into it. Many teens ask, "Why can’t I be like that?" or "What am I doing wrong?" In reality, they see a picture—but not the whole one.

How Influencers Keep You Hooked

Influencers know how to keep people watching. They use perfectly curated content that shows only what they want you to see, often the highlights of their lives. Influencers give a sudden sense of connection through constant postings, interactions with followers, or even “vulnerable” moments meant to make them seem relatable.

This can feel like a real relationship for teens, however, it is one-sided. Influencers aren’t your friends, no matter how personal their posts may seem. Techniques of gaslighting—manipulating someone into questioning their reality—might also sneak into their content. They may downplay their hard work, privilege, or sheer luck that got them to where they are, leaving their followers wondering why they can’t achieve the same success. Social media allows influencers to warp reality, leaving teens vulnerable to feelings of inadequacy or depression and damaging their mental health, especially as they figure out who they are and want to become.

Gaslighting can also lead to anxiety and confusion—teens not trusting their judgment as they chase external validation on social media the same way they see influencers doing. Likes, comments, and followers are the metrics they live by. There’s also the risk of adopting unhealthy habits, from extreme dieting to risky behavior, because they see their favorite influencers engaging in these things.

Social Media Essential Reads

The Pursuit of Perfection in the Digital Age

Does Reduced Exposure to Misinformation Change Beliefs?

Setting Boundaries: How Teens Can Stay Grounded

Teens can control what they consume online, even if it’s hard. Techniques include:

• Question what you see. Is the influencer sharing their genuine life, or are they pushing a product or ideology? What are they selling, both literally and figuratively? Developing critical thinking skills around social media is key to not falling into the trap of influencer culture.
• Curate your feed with more positive, real, and authentic content. You can follow those who inspire and motivate you without inducing feelings of inadequacy.
• Cognitive reappraisal, or changing how one looks at a certain situation, can be beneficial when digesting negative media.
• Setting limits on social media usage, engaging in offline activities that build self-esteem, and spending more time with real-life friends and family can help maintain a healthy balance.
• Unfollow. If following an influencer makes you feel bad about yourself, it’s time to unfollow them.

How Parents Can Help

Parents can play a big role in helping their teens navigate social media. Start by having open conversations about what your teens are seeing online. Show your curiosity and interest by making time for conversations and listening fully. Ask your teen about the influencers they follow, and talk about how much of what’s online is filtered or staged. Help them understand the influencers' tactics that keep them hooked, from the constant engagement to the polished content. Encourage other pathways to self-worth that aren't based on social media validation, such as spending time with friends in person, and help your teens set boundaries. This can mean creating “no phone” zones or encouraging them to spend more time away from screens, focusing on activities that promote real-world connections.

Influencers are here to stay, but that doesn’t mean teens must be compelled by their influence. With self-awareness, healthy boundaries, and the support of their parents, teens can learn to enjoy the content they follow without letting it dictate how they feel about themselves. It’s about balance, emotional skills, and media literacy—appreciating the entertainment and inspiration of their influencers but knowing when to step back and keep it real.