The Power of Critical Thinking on the Path to Persuasion

In my previous post, I covered the common mental traps that people who value critical thinking often fall into, and how “weak-sense” critical thinking often makes people less influential and persuasive, not more. This doesn’t mean, however, that critical thinking doesn’t play an important role in influence and persuasion. It just means that you have to use it the right way, not the wrong way. If you haven’t yet read my previous post, I recommend doing so now, because using critical thinking correctly first requires understanding how and why to not use it in the wrong way, which, unfortunately, many so-called “critical thinkers” do.

Every Person Tells a Story

Yes, the actual saying is that every picture tells a story. But it’s also true that every person tells a story. I don’t mean literal stories that begin with “Once upon a time” (although we tell those, too), but rather the subjective interpretations of our lives, who we are, and why we do what we do. Arguably, we humans are not equipped to perceive objective reality as it is because we all perceive it subjectively through our minds and senses, which, in turn, are influenced by our genes, experiences, knowledge, and biases. According to narrative theory, because we crave meaning, coherence, and consistency, we constantly tell ourselves “stories” to make all the disparate elements of our lives fit together into a pattern that makes sense. And these stories all coalesce into one grand, overarching narrative about our lives and who we are.

What does this have to do with using critical thinking to be more persuasive?

Everything.

As I previously argued, logic, reason, and facts alone often fail to persuade people. When this seemingly sensible approach does fail, the reason is usually that such an approach conflicts with some aspect of people’s personal stories and narrative. So, if you want to actually persuade people instead of repeatedly engaging in acts of futility, you have to understand what their stories and narratives are. And how do you do that? You do it with a tool that I’ve written about twice already on this blog, active listening.

In one post, I discussed using active listening as a way of facilitating small talk and building rapport. In another post, I discussed active listening in the context of correctly perceiving people’s viewpoints so that you can find common ground with them. These two things complement each other since (1) building rapport through small talk (more properly understood as “connect” talk) and (2) correctly understanding and identifying with people’s viewpoints are related and interdependent.

More thoroughly and comprehensively perceiving someone’s personal stories and narratives, however, is a whole different beast. It is a deeper and more difficult process than just building rapport or trying to relate to people’s viewpoints. This is because personal stories and narratives are the very foundation from which people’s viewpoints emerge in the first place. Grasping these inner narratives, however, requires critical thinking of the highest order because they lie deep within the psyche of a person.

People’s Stories Often Conflict With Each Other

Imagine you are attempting to sell a product to a client who has a clear need for such a solution. However, the client has expressed a preference for a specific brand that you do not carry. In response, you explain how your product offers superior quality, greater efficiency, an enhanced overall experience, and even a more competitive price—attributes the client has identified as key priorities. Despite your compelling argument, the client remains resolutely committed to their preferred brand. What might explain this steadfast preference?

Consider that the client’s decision-making process may be influenced by a deeper, personal narrative that extends beyond the tangible benefits of quality, efficiency, experience, and cost. These underlying narratives often intersect and occasionally conflict. Through active listening and critical thinking, you may discern that the client attaches significant—though perhaps unspoken—value to belonging to a particular social identity. For instance, for this client, ownership of the desired brand’s product may symbolize membership in a class of well-educated, urban professionals.

Even if your product aligns with this narrative while providing additional advantages, the client may still aspire to acquire the specific brand they favor. This aspiration likely stems from a more profound narrative, one that transcends the immediate social identity and resonates on a symbolic or emotional level. The desired brand, through its adept marketing, may have successfully associated itself with an aspirational lifestyle—a portrayal of the well-educated, urban professional as not only sustainable but also successful, fashionable, and fulfilled.

This narrative holds formidable influence, as it represents an idealized image deeply ingrained in the client’s perception. For example, a 2021 study conducted in the United Kingdom on luxury vehicles revealed that featuring a specific type of car on a dating profile significantly increased the likelihood of matching on dating apps—by 110 percent for men and 11 percent for women. Such findings highlight the nuanced motivations behind consumer preferences. Few might openly admit their preference for a more expensive product that offers less than other options and is less effective than perceived, all because they hope it will help them attract a mate, or at least a date. Yet, these subtle, underlying narratives often exert a powerful influence on decision-making.

Persuasion Essential Reads

The Psychology Behind Donald Trump’s Negotiating Strategy

5 Mistakes in Messaging That Is Designed to Persuade

Not All Stories Have Happy Endings (and That’s OK)

Being more influential certainly doesn’t mean successfully persuading everyone every time. Sometimes, you need to let go of trying to persuade people whose deeper narratives you just can’t figure out or whose narratives you can’t adequately satisfy, such as in our example above. In these situations, you might be better off investing your time and efforts on something more likely to yield fruit. Remember that effective influence requires more than compelling arguments; it demands empathy, discernment, and the ability to understand when and how decisions are being governed by forces beyond the rational. By uncovering and focusing on opportunities where shared narratives can truly resonate, we refine not just our approach, but the impact of our efforts.

If all this sounds intimidating, it’s worth remembering that not every persuasion attempt will require unearthing complex, deep-seated narratives. In some cases, logic, reason, and well-presented facts may be sufficient to persuade others. Other situations may call for a bit more curiosity and effort—moderate levels of critical thinking and active listening might uncover just enough insight to make a connection. However, there will be times when even these approaches fall short, and only extraordinary levels of empathy, critical thought, and listening will reveal the profound narratives driving someone’s choices.

Is the effort worth it? That depends on how much value you place on achieving that elusive outcome. The level of energy and time you dedicate to influencing someone should be carefully evaluated on a case-by-case basis, knowing there are no guarantees of success. So, what can you do? Start by applying this process inward. By reflecting critically on your own situation and attentively listening to the personal narratives shaping your decisions, you may gain clarity and uncover the best path forward—not just in influencing others, but in navigating your own journey.