Perfectly Hidden Depression

Depression

3 Hurdles That Can Make Healing From Depression Hard

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on May 30, 2023

The fight is taking place on two opposing battlefields. You need to engage outwardly while struggling to break free of depression's implosive force. What can get in your way?

The fight is taking place on two opposing battlefields. You need to engage outwardly while struggling to break free of depression's implosive force. What can get in your way?

Narcissism

What Can Blind You to Narcissism

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on April 12, 2023

Since narcissists are not likely to give you consistent affirmation, you might be stuck asking, "Am I enough?"

Since narcissists are not likely to give you consistent affirmation, you might be stuck asking, "Am I enough?"

Grief

When Grief Stays Silent

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on March 4, 2023

Carrying around a sense of victimization isn't the answer. But toxic positivity isn't, either.

Carrying around a sense of victimization isn't the answer. But toxic positivity isn't, either.

Suicide

How Many More Suicides Will It Take?

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on January 17, 2023

Science has not found a way to accurately predict suicide. Mental health professionals need to recognize this fact.

Science has not found a way to accurately predict suicide. Mental health professionals need to recognize this fact.

Depression

Is the Lens for Discovering Depression Overly Narrow?

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on July 31, 2022

Psychology needs to take note, as we can easily make a similar mistake when it comes to diagnosing depression. We're not looking through a wide enough lens. 

Psychology needs to take note, as we can easily make a similar mistake when it comes to diagnosing depression. We're not looking through a wide enough lens. 

Trauma

Hatred Is Not a Mental Illness

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on June 26, 2022

Hatred can be taught, modeled, absorbed, even fostered. It can dehumanize its targets and justify violence. Mental illness does not need to be present.

Hatred can be taught, modeled, absorbed, even fostered. It can dehumanize its targets and justify violence. Mental illness does not need to be present.

Embarrassment

Am I a Puppet of My Own Shame?

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on April 27, 2022

You may not realize that your unconscious hurt and shame are puppeteers controlling your actions.

You may not realize that your unconscious hurt and shame are puppeteers controlling your actions.

Codependency

Codependence or Interdependence: Avoid One, Welcome the Other

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on April 2, 2022

The lack of healthy relationship interdependence can explain the intense loneliness of those experiencing perfectly hidden depression.

The lack of healthy relationship interdependence can explain the intense loneliness of those experiencing perfectly hidden depression.

Guilt

Nine Steps Toward Letting Go of Guilt

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on February 27, 2022

Realize she may not have the capacity of understanding the impact she’s having on you. She’s not withholding something from you; she’s likely incapable of giving it.

Realize she may not have the capacity of understanding the impact she’s having on you. She’s not withholding something from you; she’s likely incapable of giving it.

Depression

4 Options If Your Therapist Hurts You or Makes You Mad

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on January 29, 2022

Resolving conflict within the therapeutic relationship can be very empowering.

Resolving conflict within the therapeutic relationship can be very empowering.

Grief

5 Lessons Learned From Living Through Grief

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on December 22, 2021

Grief comes in waves. Just when you think the tide is going out and you've survived another day, a rogue wave will hit you.

Grief comes in waves. Just when you think the tide is going out and you've survived another day, a rogue wave will hit you.

Imposter Syndrome

Escaping the Prison of Perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on November 30, 2021

An adaptation that was likely created as protection, as emotional survival, now has morphed into a fear of being found out — and imposter syndrome is created. 

An adaptation that was likely created as protection, as emotional survival, now has morphed into a fear of being found out — and imposter syndrome is created. 

Depression

Are You "Fine"—or Emotionally Disconnected?

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on October 25, 2021

"I have a perfect-looking life. I fear anyone seeing me as out of control. It's why I'm successful. But something is cracking open—and it scares me."

"I have a perfect-looking life. I fear anyone seeing me as out of control. It's why I'm successful. But something is cracking open—and it scares me."

Anxiety

How to Survive a Disapproving Mother

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on September 26, 2021

I heard a shaming voice, loud and clear. My voice, not my mother’s. “How could you not care about the way you look?"

I heard a shaming voice, loud and clear. My voice, not my mother’s. “How could you not care about the way you look?"

Suicide

Making Sense of a Sudden Suicide

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on August 23, 2021

"No one in a million years would have expected this from him. If this could happen to him, it could happen to anyone."

"No one in a million years would have expected this from him. If this could happen to him, it could happen to anyone."

Perfectionism

How Can a Therapist "See" Through the Armor of Perfectionism

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on July 22, 2021

Ask questions that would reveal problems with vulnerability.

Ask questions that would reveal problems with vulnerability.

Anxiety

3 Ways to Use Self-Doubt to Your Advantage

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on June 29, 2021

Learn when to listen to your doubts — and when to ignore them.

Learn when to listen to your doubts — and when to ignore them.

Trauma

The Me I Cannot See

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on May 31, 2021

For not only can you hide your pain from others, hiding emotional pain from yourself can feel as normal as putting away groceries or emptying the trash.

For not only can you hide your pain from others, hiding emotional pain from yourself can feel as normal as putting away groceries or emptying the trash.

Grief

3 Steps Toward Self-Compassion and the Freedom It Holds

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on April 18, 2021

What we can learn from Harry Potter about grief and compassion.

What we can learn from Harry Potter about grief and compassion.

Parenting

When a Parent Needs Too Much

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on March 31, 2021

A mother shares too much with her son; a dad lives through his daughter's success. The child gets the message that it's not OK to be independent. What's this called? Enmeshment.

A mother shares too much with her son; a dad lives through his daughter's success. The child gets the message that it's not OK to be independent. What's this called? Enmeshment.