Perfectly Hidden Depression

Boundaries

4 Steps to Break the Bonds of Parental Enmeshment

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on June 8, 2026

Not all parental attachment is healthy—know the signs of unhealthy dependence.

Not all parental attachment is healthy—know the signs of unhealthy dependence.

Perfectionism

Are You Performing Your Life or Truly Living It?

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on March 26, 2026

How do you stop the performance when you strongly believe that your superior and very controlled performance ensures your safety or even your worth?

How do you stop the performance when you strongly believe that your superior and very controlled performance ensures your safety or even your worth?

Perfectionism

Challenging Perfectionism by Practicing Self-Compassion

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on January 3, 2026

Self-compassion's energy extends outward, seeing your past self from today's perspective, while self-pity is backward-looking and historically implosive.

Self-compassion's energy extends outward, seeing your past self from today's perspective, while self-pity is backward-looking and historically implosive.

Narcissism

5 Commitments to Make to Yourself If You Love a Narcissist

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on October 31, 2025

You aren't going to win in a battle with a narcissist. Instead, learn to disengage from the emotionally volatile battles that might be raging between the two of you.

You aren't going to win in a battle with a narcissist. Instead, learn to disengage from the emotionally volatile battles that might be raging between the two of you.

Depression

The Growing Power of the Secrets You Keep

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on August 22, 2025

You want to express the pain you feel. But there’s a problem: You also don’t want to give up what you’ve gained from your achievements, and that scares you.

You want to express the pain you feel. But there’s a problem: You also don’t want to give up what you’ve gained from your achievements, and that scares you.

Relationships

When Close Is Too Close Between Parent and Child

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on May 23, 2025

The trouble with parent-child enmeshment.

The trouble with parent-child enmeshment.

Emotional Intelligence

Am I an Emotional Grownup?

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on March 24, 2025

One key attribute of emotional maturity is the recognition of coping strategies that may have served you extremely well as a child — but are no longer protective or even helpful.

One key attribute of emotional maturity is the recognition of coping strategies that may have served you extremely well as a child — but are no longer protective or even helpful.

Self-Hatred

How to Challenge the Paralyzing Power of Self-Hatred

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on January 18, 2025

Personal Perspective: Self-hatred will find another target. Look for a reason to be proud and you'll find it.

Personal Perspective: Self-hatred will find another target. Look for a reason to be proud and you'll find it.

Self-Sabotage

The 6 Biggest Self-Sabotaging Relationship Mistakes

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on November 10, 2024

3. Playing emotional games.

3. Playing emotional games.

Empathy

11 Ways to Be There for Someone You Care About

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on August 24, 2024

Show up, respect their perspective, and notice your feelings.

Show up, respect their perspective, and notice your feelings.

Shame

How I Began to Confront My Own Perfectionism and Shame

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on June 20, 2024

A Personal Perspective: The funny thing that shame does? It lies to you. It tells you that you're so terrible. And that you must be the worst of the worst.

A Personal Perspective: The funny thing that shame does? It lies to you. It tells you that you're so terrible. And that you must be the worst of the worst.

Suicide

After a Suicide: "How Could I Not Have Known?"

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on April 16, 2024

Bewildered and grieving widows and widowers, mothers and fathers, as well as best friends have asked me, "What did I miss?"

Bewildered and grieving widows and widowers, mothers and fathers, as well as best friends have asked me, "What did I miss?"

Shame

How Toxic Positivity Leads to Shame

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on February 5, 2024

Having negative emotions routinely denied or ignored can lead someone to experience shame for feeling them at all.

Having negative emotions routinely denied or ignored can lead someone to experience shame for feeling them at all.

Depression

7 Steps to Opening Up About Depression

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on November 28, 2023

Choosing who to talk to and how to do it is very important to ensure that you feel understood and accepted, rather than judged.

Choosing who to talk to and how to do it is very important to ensure that you feel understood and accepted, rather than judged.

Sexual Abuse

The Silent Shame of Sexual Abuse

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on August 28, 2023

In cases of sexual abuse, arousal can happen. But arousal is not consent. That distinction has to be made to challenge the intense yet silent shame a victim may carry.

In cases of sexual abuse, arousal can happen. But arousal is not consent. That distinction has to be made to challenge the intense yet silent shame a victim may carry.

Loneliness

Are You Too Busy to Admit Loneliness? You're Not Alone

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on July 13, 2023

How would you answer the question, "Are you lonely?" If it's, "Gosh, no. My life is so busy, I don't have time for that," consider this.

How would you answer the question, "Are you lonely?" If it's, "Gosh, no. My life is so busy, I don't have time for that," consider this.

Depression

3 Hurdles That Can Make Healing From Depression Hard

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on May 30, 2023

The fight is taking place on two opposing battlefields. You need to engage outwardly while struggling to break free of depression's implosive force. What can get in your way?

The fight is taking place on two opposing battlefields. You need to engage outwardly while struggling to break free of depression's implosive force. What can get in your way?

Narcissism

What Can Blind You to Narcissism

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on April 12, 2023

Since narcissists are not likely to give you consistent affirmation, you might be stuck asking, "Am I enough?"

Since narcissists are not likely to give you consistent affirmation, you might be stuck asking, "Am I enough?"

Grief

When Grief Stays Silent

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on March 4, 2023

Carrying around a sense of victimization isn't the answer. But toxic positivity isn't, either.

Carrying around a sense of victimization isn't the answer. But toxic positivity isn't, either.

Suicide

How Many More Suicides Will It Take?

Margaret R Rutherford Ph.D. on January 17, 2023

Science has not found a way to accurately predict suicide. Mental health professionals need to recognize this fact.

Science has not found a way to accurately predict suicide. Mental health professionals need to recognize this fact.