Should We Talk About Ariana Grande’s Body?

Co-authored by Heather Widdows, Ph.D., and Jessica Sutherland, University of Warwick

Ariana Grande told People magazine that she is “taking a step back from visibility” because of the “endless, ongoing public scrutiny.” She has had enough of people talking about her body: Is she too thin? Does she have an eating disorder? Is she healthy? Some of the talk about her has been vile. Marina Hyde on The Rest Is Entertainment podcast said the way some people talk about her is “repulsive” and “a massive percentage of it completely without humanity."

But is not talking the answer? When can we talk about other people’s bodies?

Some think "never," because we should not talk about other people’s—especially women’s—bodies. Others think that in Grande’s case we should definitely not speak about her body, as she has repeatedly asked us not to. Others think it’s not that simple. As appearance becomes more valued and valuable than ever before, not to talk about bodies might be failing to talk about something we must talk about. Despite the body positivity movement, everyone wants to be thin. For decades, women have believed that if they could be 10 pounds lighter, they would be happier. Children as young as 3 attach positive characteristics to thinner bodies, and our desire for thinness continues into old age. We routinely put our health at risk to be thin; historically we’ve taken amphetamines and purged; now we diet and exercise and buy black market GLP-1s. In this context, should we really simply not talk about Ariana Grande’s undeniably thin body? Some recognise there is a dilemma here. For example, Emma Madden, who suffered eating disorders herself, writes in The Guardian that “the only honest response may be to acknowledge its contradictions.” This might be true, but acknowledging contradictions isn’t very helpful in practice. We need to know what we can say and what we should say.

Let us start with what we know. We know that body-shaming individuals is harmful. Given this, we should not say negative things about other people’s bodies. It is always body-shaming, and in a world where our bodies are increasingly ourselves, when you shame bodies you shame people. Even when it is supposedly well-intentioned—for example, for health reasons—it can be shaming. Even if it were not shaming (which it is), if someone is overweight or underweight, they almost certainly know this. People know they are too fat or too thin, and usually they are hyper-aware and often feel shame. Key to maintaining an eating disorder is secrecy; pointing out thinness only prompts further withdrawal. It aids the eating disorder. Likewise, pointing out fatness is equally unhelpful. One reason that fat people don’t seek medical help when they need it is they fear, irrespective of why they are seeking medical help, that their weight will be pointed out and they will be shamed. Too often they are right.

The bottom line is that it doesn’t matter who does the shaming—parent, partner, or stranger—and it doesn’t matter why they do it; to be cruel, to inspire, or because they are concerned for the person’s health. The take-home message is that it's best to keep our mouths shut when it comes to saying negative things about bodies. But this doesn’t answer the Grande question. The nasty and negative social media pile-ons are not OK. The trolls know this already. We all know that body shame cuts deep. They do it to be cruel. For whatever reason, we say things online we wouldn’t say in person. And some think celebrities are fair game, as they choose to be in the public eye. But they are also human. So not surprisingly, it is the case that the trolls saying nasty things are wrong to do so; they should shut up.

But there are reasons that we should talk about Grande’s body.

Grande does not want her body talked about, and yet it is. It is being talked about because it is being looked at, and it is being looked at because of her music videos, photoshoots, and appearances. It is legitimate to ask what kind of images of bodies and faces are being held up to us, and to young women particularly, as ideal. The diet of images that we see is remarkably homogenous. Only some bodies are visible, only some bodies are allowed to be seen. Overwhelmingly, the bodies we see are those that conform to the global ideal: bodies that are thin, firm, smooth, and young. Even AI thinks that these bodies are ideal, which tells us exactly what images are out there for AI to learn from. Grande’s body is absolutely conforming, and whether she intends it or not, her body is part of that diet of images that creates an ideal which for most of us, most of our lives, is unattainable. Yet though it is unattainable, we feel ashamed of not having the impossible. It's a constant vicious circle.

We absolutely need to talk about this. We should all talk about bodies much more than we do. What is ideal? Why do we care more about our appearance than our grandparents? Should we? Can we change? How should we relate to our bodies? This includes talking about Grande’s body, however uncomfortable this might be and however horrible for her.

We can feel for her, and we can shame the shamers; trolls should be shamed. But we can’t put the appearance genie back into the bottle by keeping quiet. The scenario in which everyone is looking at her body, but no one dares to speak, is the worst of all possible worlds. Our appearance matters more than ever before, and we must talk about it. There has been far too little conversation about the changing way appearance is valued. Indeed, as a society we have hardly noticed the dramatic difference in how we think about ourselves and our bodies. It is urgent that we think and talk—and talk and talk and talk.

Sorry, Ariana. We get that it’s horrible for you, and we feel for you. But you are not alone. Nearly all of us, especially young women, are in the eye of a destructive storm. Silence will do nothing to help us find our way through. Perhaps we (or you) could use this moment not to withdraw or to shut down comment, but to start a very important conversation?