How to Help a Stressed Coworker

COVID-19 has turned up the volume of stress people are experiencing at work. At the bare minimum, those who go into work have to consciously keep new safety measures in mind, while those at home face isolation. Never mind those juggling dependent care, unsafe customers, and other household responsibilities.

In a previous article, I discussed how stress may be changing how you show up, and this also applies to coworkers. For example, some people will completely change how they show up when under stress - their usual directness appears reserved, or their usual high energy is gone, and they look exhausted. The more likely scenario of stress is people becoming amplified versions of their usual selves - directness becomes bluntness, or high energy becomes restlessness. This makes it much harder to detect the more subtle signs.

Source: Photo by Monstera from Pexels

The first step to help coworkers is to be more mindful of warning signs. When does something feel slightly off? When are deadlines slipping? When are responses lagged? Trust your gut when something feels off. When you do see signs, consider the following strategies:

• Ask your coworker if there is something you can do to help or take something off their plate
• Be forgiving of mistakes or delays
• Assume they have positive intent even though they may be curt or blunt
• Give extra time when requesting work/information
• Simplify emails to make them clear and concise
• Cancel/delay meetings when they are not urgent or uninvite them if they don't need to be there
• Ask how things are going but don't allow "fine" as an answer.

Suppose you see someone in burnout (which is more than exhaustion). They need immediate intervention. Encourage the coworker to take a vacation, offer to cover a shift, approach the supervisor/manager, and express concern.

Generally, people love being asked for help. However, most people don't like asking for help. This conundrum can result in suffering in silence which is particularly problematic for mental health struggles. Many can hide such feelings, while others aren't attuned to seeing an internal struggle. So, if we want to be a supportive teammate, it may require us to sleuth out the signs.

And finally, detecting these signs will be difficult when you are under stress yourself. So, make sure to "put on your oxygen mask before assisting others."