When our kids, pupils, or partners—make harmful, hurtful, choices—how can we help them access their "heart virtues" (like love, forgiveness, compassion, and kindness) instead? An old African legend and a modern restorative practice show one possible path.
It turns out that what you watch, read, listen to and play can affect your mood, temper, and even how generous and kind you are to others afterwards. As much as 15 minutes of TV news or 3 minutes with a fashion magazine can change how you feel about yourself and the world. How is what you are watching or reading helping or harming you today?
Have you ever wished you could 'un-say' something the minute it comes out of your mouth?
Or wished you could rewind an argument to that crucial moment - and respond differently this time?
With this simple technique you can can virtually turn back the clock - while simultaneously teaching your mind to do it differently in the future.
I have been pleased and gratified by the enthusiastic response to my article on addressing conflict between children in a variety of settings (3 Steps That Transform Sibling Conflict into Sibling Camaraderie). "Part 2" presents more tips and suggestions for making the process effective.
With so much potential for both disagreement and discovery - for both gaining and losing closenes - family gatherings around the holidays can feel like an emotional casino.When disagreements become fruitless or "stuck", this effective method can help you shift conversation to a place of mutual connection.
Why are your "talks" about difficult and painful topics still unsatisfying and unproductive even after you take time to "calm down?" How can you shift these communications from fault finding and defensiveness to listening and being heard? How do you finally move from Destructive to Constructive conversations?