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How to raise self-disciplined, connected, happy humans
Laura Markham Ph.D.
Toddlers feel passionately about everything, and simply don't have the frontal cortex capacity to control themselves when they're upset.
A child's emotional well-being and love of learning are the foundation of all future academic achievement. If a school option isn't working, stay open to new ones.
Children internalize feelings of accomplishment that strengthen character, confidence, and self-regulate emotions for life.
You won't be able to pull this off all the time. But if you make it a habit several times a day, you'll find yourself shifting into presence more and more often.
Retraining your mind takes effort, but as you keep practicing, it gets easier.
Giving your kids a good start in life means sending ripples generations into the future.
If we want kids to accept our guidance, we need to maintain a positive relationship with them.
It's that larger affirmation, that Yes, your child senses and responds to, that helps them accept your No.
The good news is that following these practices consistently not only raises a self-disciplined child; it also raises a child who knows you'll follow through.
Take a deep breath and remind yourself: My child can do hard things with enough support. And so can you.
What our children need most from us when they're feeling big emotions is just our calm, warm presence, which helps them feel safe to explore the feeling.
You can't prevent stressful events. But you can change how you think about them.
As you put the energy in to help your child develop good work habits, they realize more and more success, so they're more motivated and self-regulating in their schoolwork.
Research suggests ways that parents can engage and motivate children in learning, even when kids are in remote school.
This approach makes our children better people. It makes us better people. And it creates a home with a lot less drama—and a lot more love.
Connection and compassion will transform any relationship.
What's so special about special time? It transforms our relationship with our child. And since that relationship is 90% of our parenting, you can't get more special than that.
Just show up and give your child the tremendous gift of being seen and acknowledged.
Special time is the antidote for parents and children, an essential nutrient that heals the upsets and disconnections of daily modern life.
We can get through this hard time in a way that makes us stronger: With love.
Address the needs and feelings that are driving the behavior, and you can nip it in the bud.
Part 2: How to handle defiance in elementary schoolers, preteens, and tweens.
This is the kind of fighting that brings you closer, makes your relationship stronger, and models conflict resolution that teaches kids essential lessons.
This has been a hard year for kids as well as parents. You can expect your child to act out anything they can't express in words.
Part 2: Once connection has been made and you’ve set your limits calmly, you can work on addressing the source of the acting out.
Part 1: Cracking down on the behavior with threats and punishment won't keep the behavior from happening; it will only increase the drama.
Sometimes the unexpected tangents are where the magic happens.
Your age-by-age guide with talking points and questions to ask your child, to help them understand the electoral process and this unusual election.
Take a deep breath and remind yourself, "My child can do hard things, with enough support." And, so can you!
Give yourself some grace, remember your long-term goals, and try to find the humor in doing the impossible. It isn't fair, I know. But it's worth it.
Laura Markham, Ph.D., is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting.