Should You Call Your Child "Smart"?

Nearly all parents want to raise confident children who believe strongly in their own abilities. But how exactly do you encourage your children to see themselves as intelligent and competent? Will calling your children “smart” help to boost self-esteem? Fortunately for parents, there is a line of research addressing this very question.

Calling a child "smart" can have negative consequences

Research clearly shows that praising children for being "smart" is associated with more negative consequences than praising children for their effort. First, research finds that, when children are praised for being “smart," they tend to be less interested in the learning itself and more interested in the performance of themselves and others, as compared to children who are praised for their effort. In addition, when faced with failure, children praised for being “smart” tend to blame their failure on not being smart enough and are then more tempted to just give up.

Children praised for “hard work” tend to conclude that they simply needed to work harder when they failed. Thus they were more likely to be persistent. Children who were praised for being “smart” also tended to see intelligence as something they could not change, while children praised for “hard work” were more motivated to keep learning or trying to do better (referred to as a "growth mindset").

Praising children for being "smart" may even promote cheating. Research finds that children who are referred to as “smart” are more likely to cheat than children praised for their performance (“You did very well this time”), or not praised at all. The researchers speculated that children who are called “smart” feel pressured to uphold this reputation so they cheat to make sure that their performance is consistent with being “smart.” Research also finds that young children even show more cheating behavior when they simply overhear someone else being called smart.

Tips for parents

1. Try not to refer to your child as “smart” or any label that refers to their abilities (“athletic," “talented," “creative," etc.). Research consistently finds that this type of “person praise” has a negative impact on motivation and persistence.
2. Instead, praise children for their hard work and effort. You can also praise them for their focus on a task, persisting at something difficult, or the strategy they used. So instead of saying, “Wow, you are so smart,” try saying, “What a great idea to build a strong base for your tower before you started building.” Instead of saying, “You are so good at math,” say “I really like how you are concentrating on that math problem.” Instead of saying, “You are a talented reader,” say, “I love how you challenge yourself with reading and don’t give up when it gets tough.”
3. Be careful about using the term “smart” to refer to other people in the presence of your child. Research suggests that even hearing the term related to others may have a negative impact.
4. Avoid labeling your children as “gifted” or “talented” which may have a similar impact. If they are in a “gifted” program, make an extra effort to praise their hard work and persistence when you can.

In summary, contrary to conventional parenting advice, research suggests that there are serious downsides to calling your child “smart” and that you may want to avoid this label or any praise that focuses on stable traits that they cannot change. Instead, try to praise effort, strategy, persistence, and focus.