When Struggling College Students Come Home

As winter break approaches, college students are returning home for much-needed rest. Many will retreat to their rooms to recharge, while others may rush to reconnect with friends, even bypassing the open arms of their parents. College life is demanding, and most students develop coping skills to manage the semester’s accumulated stress. For some, however, academic, social, and independent-living pressures can feel overwhelming, triggering new mental health or substance-use concerns or exacerbating existing vulnerabilities. When distress goes unnoticed or unsupported, young people may withdraw, increasing the risk for worsening symptoms and self-harm.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people ages 15–24 (CDC, 2022). Research shows that college students, who often have more access to support systems, are less likely to die by suicide than non-college-attending peers (The National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, 2021). Data from Penn State’s Center for Collegiate Mental Health show that the percentage of students receiving support in college counseling centers with a history of suicidal or self-injurious behavior rose from 26% in 2010–2011 to 30% in 2023–2024. The University of Michigan’s 2023–2024 Healthy Minds Report highlights the prevalence of student mental health challenges and the informal supports they seek: friends (39%) and family (39%) top the list. So loved ones play a powerful role—which underscores the importance of recognizing distress and knowing how to respond.

Findings from Healthy Minds Network Report 2023-2024

Source: The Healthy Minds Network. (2024). 2023-2024 data report.

Many college counseling centers have expanded services as needs have grown, and efforts to strengthen mental health literacy are increasing. One example is Mental Health First Aid (MHFA), a national program of the National Council for Mental Wellbeing that teaches people how to notice warning signs and start supportive conversations. More than 4.5 million individuals have been trained nationwide, with the goal of preparing one in every 15 Americans to respond to mental health or substance-use concerns and ensuring that everyone has at least one nearby friend or family member they can turn to in a time of need. Nearly 1,500 colleges now implement MHFA. At the University of North Carolina, thousands have been trained, leading to increased mental health literacy, higher confidence in responding to distress, and greater intention to use these skills to support others. These efforts go a long way toward addressing the nation’s youth mental health crisis.

Parents can be especially valuable supports for emerging adults returning home, offering stability, guidance, and help navigating resources as students prepare to return to school. Recognizing when a young person is simply recuperating versus experiencing more significant decline is essential. Understanding risk factors, warning signs, and ways to talk about mental health helps promote healthy outcomes.

Recognizing Risk

Suicide risk arises from a complex mix of individual, relational, community, and societal factors. According to NAMI and the CDC, some common risk factors include:

• history of suicidal thoughts
• previous suicide attempt
• history of self-harm
• family history of suicide
• substance misuse
• impulsivity or emotional reactivity
• hopelessness
• isolation
• exposure to violence
• access to lethal means

Concerns about potential harm should prompt immediate professional mental health or crisis-response support. Less urgent and yet important signs such as mood changes, loss of interest in usual activities, and declines in energy, functioning, or self-care should not be overlooked. It can feel uncomfortable to voice concerns, especially if your young person is signaling “leave me alone.” Many parents also worry that asking directly about suicide or self-harm may be overreacting or make things worse. In fact, research consistently shows the opposite: When caring adults approach these concerns with honesty, compassion, and curiosity, rather than avoidance, it communicates care and reduces the likelihood of tragic outcomes.

Talking About Mental Health

Parents can benefit from the guidance of the Mental Health First Aid model, which teaches a five-step action plan for responding to mental health concerns, summarized below. Reaching out, even imperfectly, is far better than remaining silent when worried about someone’s well-being.

Mental Health First Aid Steps (ALGEE)

Source: Kapil, R. (2025, September 24). Using the 5-Step MHFA Action Plan: How ALGEE Helps in Mental Health and Substance Use Challenges. Mental Health First Aid.

1. A: Approach and assess for risk of suicide or harm

Choose a private moment and ask how the person is doing. Share nonjudgmental observations such as “I’ve noticed you’ve been in your room a lot and haven’t seemed interested in seeing friends. What’s up?”

Regardless of the response, the question shows you care. If they don’t want to talk, encourage them to reach out to someone they trust.

2. L: Listen nonjudgmentally

People in distress need to feel heard. Listen without interrupting. Validate their experience, even if you disagree. Limited perspective is common in depression and mood disorders. For now, simply let them know you hear them.

3. G: Give reassurance and information

Offer hope and supportive facts. When someone struggles to generate hope, they often need to borrow it. Mental health and substance-use challenges are common, rooted in both biology and lived experience, and highly treatable.

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4. E: Encourage appropriate professional help

Early intervention improves outcomes. Help them learn about available options, such as primary care providers, local therapists, or directories like Psychology Today's. Familiarize yourself with campus mental health supports so they can continue care when they return to school.

5. E: Encourage self-help and support strategies

Help identify their support network, community programs, and small, manageable self-care steps like regular meals, hygiene, movement, enjoyable activities, and connecting with others to reduce isolation.

In non-crisis situations, not every step is needed. What matters most is showing care, curiosity, and consistent presence.

When Concerns Escalate

When someone feels hopeless, they may say things like, “I don’t want to feel like this anymore,” “People would be better off without me,” or “I can’t do this.”

Instead of dismissing these statements, ask, “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”

If the response is yes, follow with, “Have you thought about acting on these thoughts?”

Explore whether plans exist or steps have been taken. If the person is not in imminent danger and already has mental health supports, consult their treating therapist or psychiatrist. You can also dial 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to access help 24/7. If they are in imminent danger, have begun acting on a plan, or are behaving erratically, take them to the nearest emergency department or crisis center when it is safe and they are willing. Otherwise, call 911 and request responders trained in mental health or crisis de-escalation.

Offering Steady Support

Staying calm is essential. Your role is not to diagnose or solve the problem but to offer grounding, support, and information. More broadly, hold your young adults close. Offer love, care, and the comforts of home so you can share the holidays together and look toward a new year of growth, resilience, and meaning born from the struggles they have faced.