Helping Your Teen With Phone Use

Recently, I read an article in the newspaper about some teens on Long Island who started a newspaper. And what was interesting was why they did it. Several of them were quoted as saying they were bored with scrolling on their phones.

They wanted something else to do – something to get them out of their bedrooms, interacting with each other and using their minds.

Even teens are getting bored with scrolling.

We all assume that teens love both their phones and the social media they can access on them. But, as it turns out, there are other feelings that some teens are having.

Delany Ruston, MD, founder of Screenagers, says she sees a lot of teens in her medical practice who wish they didn’t spend so much time on social media but who find cutting back really hard. She has put together a program, Boosting Bravery, to help teenagers support each other in making healthier screen choices. Dr. Ruston talks about an interesting phenomenon amongst screen users, including teens: people who scroll out of boredom often feel even more bored after scrolling!

But, she says, it’s not just how much teens and others use screens, it’s also how they use their screens. She quotes Katie Davis of University of Washington’s Information School and co-director of the UW Digital Youth Lab, who has done research in this area. She has found that while scrolling can lead to boredom, active use of screens to create something, message someone, post something meaningful or search for specific content can lead to more positive feelings.

How to Help Teens Cut Back on Screen Use and Use Screens More Meaningfully

1. Take a hint from the Long Island teens who started a newspaper and support your teen if they want to start a project with friends, go somewhere (safe) outside of the house or engage in projects at home. Do all you can to keep these activities going.
2. Tell them about what you’ve learned here. Make sure they know that active use of their screens to create something new can lead to more positive feelings than just passive scrolling.
3. Plan activities outside of the house at least once a day on weekends and vacation days. Make sure you get buy-in from your teen. And try to make at least some of these activities ones that require your teen’s full attention so that you don’t have to forbid phones, but the phones have to be put down. It’s almost summer! Try canoeing, kayaking, hiking, a picnic, swimming, snorkeling, visiting a museum or an art gallery, going to a minor or major league game, walking around a nearby city, taking a train somewhere new. You get the idea.
4. Make dinner a cell-phone-free activity. This means you have to put yours aside as well. Have dinner with your kids as many nights of the week as you can and insist that no one look at phones - at all! Avoid watching movies or shows during dinner (except maybe if you have a movie night tradition one night a week). Even if dinner is just 15 minutes together, try making this a habit.
5. Start the conversation. Talk about scrolling and boredom. Tell your teen if you have felt this way after scrolling - and ask them if they ever have. Ask them what other feelings they have after scrolling.
6. Ask your teen what new things or new projects they would like to start. If they have no idea, don’t start making a million suggestions – just tell them to think about it and get back to you.

All of these ideas are good – but don’t get discouraged if your teen stares you down and goes back to their phone when you suggest them. Just bring up the issues I’ve mentioned, try some of these suggestions - and hope for some discussion and small changes.