What This Pandemic Is Like for Someone with Schizophrenia
One person with schizophrenia tells her story of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Posted Mar 31, 2020
I'm scared all the time. I'm washing my hands a lot. Every time I touch anything, really. A case of water. A door handle. The remote control. I'm disinfecting my phone so much.
I ordered delivery today. There is an option to have the delivery left at the door, but the delivery person refused and insisted on handing me the food. I couldn't eat it. I couldn't touch it. He wasn't wearing any gloves and I can't count how many times I've washed my hands since touching the delivery box.
I'm scared all the time.
My experience, though, isn't really all that different from the next person, I don't think. Everyone is scared. Everyone is washing their hands (I hope) every time they touch something.
I'm so grateful to be working from home these last three weeks. Not everyone is so lucky. I watched a video from an employee of a well-known corporate company who was scared out of his mind to be at work.
Quarantine is strange. I shared that I'm talking to my cat more and that worried people, I think. I've been alone for days. My family is out of town and I haven't seen anyone except the delivery people. I spent the day working in the backyard today. The cat caught a lizard and was playing with it. Cats can be evil creatures.
It shouldn't be weird for me because I've spent months off of work when I was on medical leave. The difference was that I was severely depressed and was sleeping a lot. These days, the medication wakes me up early. Really early, like 3 a.m. I take my shower early and drink tea when everyone is sleeping. I color in my paint by numbers app. I browse Instagram and wait until my early call with my boyfriend.
Like I said, COVID-19 is really no different for me than anyone else, I don't think. And that's kind of the point. At least for me. Living with schizophrenia can be extremely scary and I don't want to downplay that. But so is living in a pandemic. I just want you all to know that I'm here for you during this time, as much as I can be.