Why Is Big Tech Obsessed With Masculinity?

In a recent interview with Ezra Klein, business journalist Kara Swisher offered her insights on the culture of Silicon Valley, drawn from decades of reporting on prominent figures in tech, men in particular. She makes the case that most of the prominent men she has covered (including Elon Musk and Peter Thiel) are “obsessed” with masculinity and male virtues and against the supposed “feminization” of culture at large.

Swisher offers some “armchair psychology” on what motivates this interest in these men (e.g., not being loved by their fathers) and gives compelling examples of this masculine focus in practice: the proposed “cage match” between Musk and Zuckerberg, or the many prominent appeals by men in tech to reclaim the virtues of the Ancient Greeks and Romans.

Swisher’s argument extends a not-uncommon observation by media theorists of the 20th century, who point to similar “pacifying” effects of modern culture in general, and of modern technological culture in particular. Understanding these effects might offer clues to the current fixation on masculinity by those deeply immersed in digital and technological realms.

Technology's Effect on the Experience of Masculinity

Long before current concerns about cultural “feminization,” media theorists of the early 20th century discussed the “pacifying” effects of modern culture and media. German philosopher Theodor Adorno wrote extensively on the culture industry and what he saw as a softening of society as a result of a steady mass media diet.

In his 1940s essay "The Culture Industry," Adorno argued that cultural products like film had taken on the soft qualities of consumer objects. Contemporary art was less challenging and complex and did not involve the viewer in rigorous mental or emotional activity. Instead, he referred to mass-produced media as “predigested,” “baby food,” and an expression of “infantile compulsions.” In today’s landscape, we can imagine Adorno commenting on grown men who obsess over comic-book heroes or sports stars as if they were still locked in adolescence. A culture that creates only infantile content, we may conclude, produces infantile consumers latently longing for real adulthood.

The Sibling Society

In the 1990s, the Jungian-inspired “men’s movement” made not-dissimilar claims about the erosion of masculinity in the modern era, noting in particular that modern men exist in a state of perpetual adolescence and "have not grown up." This is exemplified by poet and critic Robert Bly’s 1996 book, The Sibling Society. One of the principal claims he makes is that modern men lack the initiation into proper adulthood and thus remain in perpetual adolescence, or as “siblings.”

Similar to Adorno's views, this loss of fully realized adulthood was seen as an effect of cultural forms in consumer capitalism: immediate gratifications, short-term commitments, and a general culture of distraction. Consumer culture has trained us, Bly argues, to seek out short-term pleasures and experiences at the expense of more difficult, but more edifying and rewarding longer-term pursuits like a vocation, fatherhood, marriage, etc.

In many ways, this view echoes observations from the “marshmallow test,” which famously asserted that children who could distract themselves from eating a marshmallow and exercise self-control (with the promise of then receiving more marshmallows) fared better as adults because they could manage and control their impulsivity.

Bly seems to argue in his book that we have all failed the marshmallow test in modern culture as we seek out new thrills and pleasures. We are also encouraged and rewarded for this by a culture that valorizes consumer acquisitions and bucket list achievements over long-term successes like a vocational life or long-lasting friendship. Think of how this has accelerated today in a digital culture that prioritizes the sharing of “Instagrammable” moments.

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In Pursuit of Virtuous Action

Much of the current obsession with Ancient Greek virtues by men in tech may in part be explained by this lack of significant and substantial adult experiences that reflect not skill or “smarts” but virtue, courage, and valor. Think of the types of achievements that one may succeed at in digital capitalism: writing great code, designing an algorithm, or creating a “buy now” user purchasing app for Amazon.

While such accomplishments may be skillful efforts, they do not satisfy at the level of moral or spiritual achievements. In other words, they may give us a great paycheck, but they do not levy a kind of moral response from a grateful public. Here I imagine the kind of satisfaction that one may have upon receiving a medal of honor for self-sacrifice and risk, or the type of courageous act one might see in a Hemingway novel perhaps.

This is what I believe causes some of the obsession with masculinity and masculine virtues in the digital class and beyond. It is a longing for a kind of achievement that exceeds today's material pleasures or rewards, such as a high salary or stock options, and instead confers a moral status or the sense of achieving something at a higher ethical level.

In her interview with Klein, Swisher talked about tech’s fascination with video games, and here too we may see this longing for virtuous action play out in the virtual sphere. In many adventure and quest games, the objective of the hero is no less than the redemption of a social world, the defeat of a great foe, and the liberation of a people in captivity. In other words, these are moral and ethical quests, but always vicarious. When the game is over, we return to our workaday lives with little at stake in terms of valor or honor.

When I work with clients who long for this kind of pursuit, I often say that these pursuits are possible but need to be translated into the modern era. Committing to the raising of a child, navigating the ups and downs of marriage, offering care for an aging relative, or contributing to a community are all, in my opinion, immense sources of honor and virtue. They also take tremendous amounts of work and offer immense challenges and sacrifice for the “hero” of this quest (all of us). I believe that taking on the quests of everyday life offers masculine satisfaction in real life, while fantasies of Rome and Greece are mere distractions from the important work in front of our eyes.