Reducing Loneliness on College Campuses

We are all wired for human connection — and not through a screen. We have an innate need to see, hear, and touch other humans. Never has this been easier than on a college campus, where we get to experience that wonderful stage of life of coming into our own and figuring out who we are through our close relationships. That is, until now. In our fast-paced, media-saturated, and post-pandemic world, our very natural, hard-wired need for human intimacy and relational reciprocity has been dangerously affected. So much so that Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has declared loneliness to be an epidemic in the United States, right up there with obesity and smoking as a leading cause of death. Murthy then set out on his “Made to Connect” campus tour to spread his message of the importance of social connection (Alonso, 2023).

Gen Z is the loneliest generation

Among the loneliest Americans are our young Gen Z college students. A survey of approximately 1,100 U.S. college and university students has shown that almost two-thirds (64.7%) reported feeling lonely. It was also found that college students who reported feeling lonely were over four times more likely to experience severe psychological distress. More specifically, 28.4 percent of students reported feeling isolated from their peers, 23.1 percent reported feelings of being left out, and 21 percent of students reported lacking companionship (Active Minds). As we are aware of the close connection between loneliness, depression, and suicide, these results demand both our attention and a call to action.

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What is loneliness and how does it differ from social isolation?

Loneliness is complex and is often mistaken for social isolation. Therefore, a good place to begin the conversation is to differentiate between the two. Modern research says that social isolation refers to minimal or a lack of daily interaction with other people, whereas loneliness is more of a psychological state where the person’s needs for love and a sense of belonging are not being met (Alonso, 2023). This is an important distinction to make, as many outgoing people with busy social lives report being lonely. Loneliness, then, is not something we are victims of and not something we can set down like a suitcase. Loneliness is largely about the quality of our relationships (Davis, 2023) and the feeling that occurs when there is genuine reciprocity and mutual adoration, whether platonic, familial, or romantic.

Particularly when addressing loneliness among college students, we must ask ourselves, "where is human connection more of a priority than on college campuses?" For me personally, I have such fond memories of freshman orientation where there were loads of fun activities to help the wide-eyed first-years get to know each other. In fact, the college cafeteria dining experience was its own daily social-fix. Walking back to the library after a dinner break had us feeling “filled up,” not just with dinner but in our social bubbles where it felt warm and comfortable.

This sense of being genuinely filled up seems to be what’s missing, and why the old cliche of “feeling alone in a crowd” has never been truer. With all this good-hearted effort being poured into our students by faculty and staff, why is loneliness still on the rise?

Fitting in versus belonging: “Relation-less relationships”

Most well-intended colleges and universities strive to solve the problem of social isolation with their students, without addressing the underlying loneliness. This is analogous to treating a migraine headache with an aspirin, focused on the symptom rather than the source.

The source, it seems, lies largely with the quality of student relationships.

Since the pandemic we have managed (to some degree) to coerce students out of their dorm rooms, but the root cause of loneliness is going to take more of a concerted effort to approach. This means that we will need to make a fundamental shift from helping students to fit in—to helping them acquire a genuine sense of belonging.

Teenagers and young adults will do nearly anything to avoid the excruciating pain of social rejection. Helping students to understand that fitting in is about acquiring external approval, which is often at the expense of altering ourselves in some way, can be accomplished with interactive discussions and activities. I know that with my own students, most were quite aware that chronically seeking external approval is not only exhausting, but it also inevitably takes a toll on one's self-esteem. This often perpetuates the problem of loneliness, as damaged self-esteem can circle back around to social isolation.

On the other hand, genuine belonging is about knowing our own value. When students know their own value, they do not feel the need to change and adapt who they are to meet the needs of the group. They also don't feel the need to isolate. When students find their people in this way, it’s authentic. True belonging is a deep and meaningful connection. This is what our students need most, and we can help them get there by mirroring their value with every given opportunity.

Loneliness Essential Reads

New Evidence That We're Wired for Connection

Why Are We So Lonely? Tackling the Loneliness Epidemic

Authenticity is what makes lasting human connection possible.

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Connected disconnection: The impact of social media on student well-being

The irony of social media's influence is both astounding and seductive. As approximately 98% of college students engage on social media platforms daily, it is ultra-important that those working in higher education understand the influence it has on students’ well-being (Ellis, 2024).

Though there are some advantages to social media such as looking up and connecting with old acquaintances, the detriments to student mental health should not be underestimated. We now know that excessive social media use can lead to anxiety, depression, and feelings of FOMO (fear of missing out) which can exacerbate already existent feelings of loneliness and social isolation. In addition, it’s not simply the number of hours students use social media which is a concern, but how it is used, as when it is used as a form of avoidance behavior such as with personal responsibilities (school work) and face-to-face social interaction.

Much of the reason for social media’s impact on emotion is due to social comparison. First introduced by Leon Festinger in the 1950’s, social comparison theory suggests that people evaluate their personal and social worth by measuring how they compare to others (Festinger, 1954). In the 50’s, however, in the absence of technology, we got a break from social comparison as we could only covet what we were able to see in real time, such as the neighbor’s brand new station wagon. Once the neighbor pulled her new car into the garage we were no longer thinking about it. Fast forward to 2025, and the very instant a student gets a notification the brain begins to make associations, comparing the student’s very real life against the backdrop of the make-pretend-land of social media. They are now comparing themselves most of the day, every day, with relationships, body image, accomplishments, social life, etc. Because of this, many of our students are anxious, depressed, and lonely, not to mention overstimulated by it all.

Surgeon General Vivek Murthy leaves us with “It’s hard to know who’s being real online, and it’s hard for people to be themselves online, and that is a recipe for loneliness.”

He says, “I can’t underscore just how powerful it is to have a few moments of authentic interaction with somebody where you can hear their voice and see their face,” he said, adding, “There is tremendous benefit that comes to each of us from being able to show up for each other (Chen, B. 2024.).”

Perhaps what our students need most from us is to guide them back to the basics—to unplug, engage, and be fully present.