How to Actually Enjoy the Holidays With Young Children

Sam’s parents agreed that Thanksgiving had been “crazy fun,” but Sam and his brother had taken a while to “find normal” after everyone left.

Dad: “There has to be a better way to manage the togetherness, the food glut, and the routine trashing that takes such a toll on the boys, not to mention us.”

Mom: “Your parents have already said they’re happy to come for the holidays, but maybe for a shorter time.”

Meanwhile, Sam and his little brother were already talking about presents, cookies, surprises, getting up early, and on and on. Of course, parents want to give their kids great holidays, and there are ways to avoid going overboard that allow for delight in being together without trashing family life, physically and/or emotionally.

Part of what makes the holidays so great is that they change up the daily rhythms of being together. The people, the food, the schedules, the routines—all are different. What makes them fun for adults can be tougher on younger kids. The routines that make young lives predictable and understandable—especially for kids who find it harder to adapt to changes—are eroded. Hard-earned eating and sleeping routines established by parents over time get shredded by the holidays. Limit-setting, too, seems more like a cruel buzzkill during family gatherings. So how can families navigate these shoals to smooth sailing during the holidays?

• Exercise is the premier stressbuster for the holidays. Walks with the family, even short ones, are better than sedatives. Encouragement in the form of a simple scavenger hunt was a Pruett family favorite. Incentives may or may not be necessary to get the kids out and active. And remember, adults need this just as much as the kids. If the weather isn’t conducive to being outside, countless family fitness videos are readily accessible online. A fun, multigenerational family workout beats watching TV as a stress reducer.
• Nature-based activities evoke curiosity in young kids. Setting up bird feeders is a manageable activity, whether in the backyard or suction-cupped to an apartment window. If you’re short on time, bug and bird searches work just as well.
• Simple family games that engage most age groups allow younger kids to participate actively, learn to wait their turn, and handle losing, all with people who care about them, win or lose. There are endless options; Trouble and Uno were favorites in the Pruett house.
• Finally, easing limit-setting a notch or two during the holidays won’t erode anyone’s character, and there will be time to tighten back up after everyone goes home. You wouldn’t be the first parents to learn that kids can handle more than you thought during the holidays.