Having a Voice: The Courage to Be a Positive Self

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, “Why me?”

Then a voice answers, “Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.”

(Charlie Brown in Peanuts)

Have you felt underestimated, frustrated by how others judge you and your thoughts or suggestions? Has the most severe judge been you? Feeling like Charlie Brown in the epigraph above is common enough. Knowing how voice, the capacity to express our true selves, works can be a tremendous tool in any relationship, whether at home, work, or school. Understanding the nature of voice can help clarify the communicative roles we all play in relationships. In this post, we’ll examine the nature of having a voice, the courage to speak with candor, identity development, and the responsibility that comes along with having a voice.

Sometimes, speaking your truth can be as loud as a whisper.

Source: Brett Jordan / Unsplash

Everyone Has a Voice

Perhaps it’s intuitive that every human being has a voice, but we also know not everyone uses it. Some may have physical or cognitive disabilities limiting or preventing their speech. We may have known a mute person who, although they could not speak with their mouth, certainly could communicate their feelings and thoughts to those around them. (Monks in silent vows have been known to use their own sign language.). Our tone and non-verbal cues can also influence how others receive our messages (Abramowitz, 2021).

On the other hand, I can name several able-bodied people who choose, for many reasons, not to speak their truth when the opportunity arises. Sometimes, external factors such as religious or ethnic oppression create cultures of silence. Regardless of the rationale, when a person chooses to be silent, there is lost a chance to express what they believe, their fears, their faults, their weaknesses, and who they are.

Courage to Speak Out

In the Bible and other scriptures, we see courageous men and women who speak truth to challenge power structures that divide people. These prophets are fueled by their prayer to fulfill God’s will. Their voice is prophetic in that they speak to their people on behalf of God, not because they can predict the future.

So, the question becomes, “How can I speak my truth?” When we speak honestly and align with our values, others can see it and feel it. We exude a positive vibe or energy. Likewise, the same holds for misalignment of our thoughts, feelings, actions, and beliefs – others can detect a negativity and sense the dissonance. Often, we can see our truth reflected on the faces of beings with whom we interact.

Our Identity and Responsibility

Personal expression, or voice, is intimately linked to identity at both the individual and communal levels because it indicates some degree of “autonomy and control” (Kim, 2016, p. 277). Normally, we convey intended meaning through our actions: e.g., cooking for a loved one, hugging a parent, visiting a lonely neighbor, presenting a speech, writing a letter, and so forth. We cede any control of those messages once they depart our bodies. At that point, those who receive them must decide how to react in terms of a reply, body position, feelings, memories, and/or non-verbal language. We must remember that we are accountable for our actions, words, or behaviors to ourselves and others whom they affect. For this reason, purposefully keeping account of positive and negative actions can help build a constructive and trust-filled relationship with loved ones (Culkin, 2022; Culkin & Culkin, 2021).

Conclusion

Understanding some characteristics of voice can help us to communicate as our true selves, with candor and courage, and as responsible partners and friends. How are you using your voice today? Do others respond positively to your presence?