No One Has to Be Alone

Navigating the challenging transitions of illness, death, and bereavement

Lani Leary Ph.D.

Grief is Like a Fingerprint.

Our grief is unique, like a fingerprint. But we all know loss. We must do our own grief work, but benefit from the support and validation that comes from belonging to a community that acknowledges the death, honors the deceased and the relationship with the bereaved.

There Is No End to Hope

Giving up treatment does not mean we are abandoning hope. We can redefine and reframe hope for realistic, meaningful interventions and ways of being that can provide intimacy and authenticity at the end of life.

We Can Help the Dying to Feel Held

Hospice care offers hope, reduces fears, and supports people to live right up to their last breath. We can be prepared and design our "best death" based on our values and wishes. With the hospice philosophy and team, no one has to die alone, and no one has to grieve alone.

Listening Is a Ministry and Discipline

To listen to another asks that we create a safe place; hold their truth; and behold their highest nature.

We Can Discover As Well As Recover From Grief

Grief is information and we must bring it out into the light in order to discover how to soften our despair.

Dying gives as well as takes away.

Death Is Not a Dial Tone

Relationships continue after death.

Death Does Not End a Relationship

In what ways can you "keep" a deceased loved one with you?

The Power of Permission

When was the last time you asked a patient's permission to touch, talk, or enter their room?

The Double-Bind of Masculine Grief

Men often report feeling in a “double bind” in which they are expected to “act like a man”, but judged for not sharing “like a woman”. Men feel their grief, but are more likely to manage it through activities and time alone to cognitively, rather than emotionally, process their understanding of the death.

Role Models of Resiliency

No One Has to Grieve Alone

Grief does not end, but grief can be transformed. Grief can soften. We can learn to accept our grief.

No One Has to Die Alone

In the 25 years I have worked as a psychotherapist and hospice worker, I have had the privilege of being at the bedside of more than 500 people as they died. They taught me that how they die matters. They taught me the attitudes, skills, and competencies so that I could be of service and make a difference. You can too.