The Hidden Cost of Living on Fast Forward

By Mark Shelvock and Jenifer Freedy

Have you ever felt like entire months or years blurred together, like time was slipping away faster than you could hold onto it?

Our relationship with time is more than just a reflection of busy schedules or productivity. It is deeply intertwined with our emotional lives, nervous systems, and experiences of stress and trauma.

In everyday conversations, it’s common to hear adults say that time feels like it’s speeding up. This perception is particularly common during times of chronic stress or when struggling with health and well-being.

The rapid-fire pace of modern life only amplifies this feeling, leaving many of us caught in an endless rush. But beneath the surface, this collective sense of urgency points to a deeper psychological crisis: disconnection from the present moment and ourselves.

Source: Photo by Alex Vámos on Unsplash

Why does time speed up with stress and trauma?

Our perception of time is not fixed. Time shifts depending on what’s happening inside and around us. The nervous system plays a central role in how we experience time. When we're calm and regulated, time feels slower, more spacious. But when we're under chronic stress or living with unresolved trauma, time accelerates.

Survival states like hypervigilance or anxiety lock the body into high alert, pulling our attention away from the present moment. In these states, the mind becomes preoccupied with scanning for threats or managing crises. Moments evaporate quickly because we're not truly inhabiting them. This rushing state can become so familiar that it feels like the only way to move through life.

Trauma also distorts time perception. Memory gaps, dissociation, or the fragmentation of traumatic experiences make it harder to piece together a coherent sense of time passing. Without a continuous inner narrative, entire stretches of life can feel like they disappeared in a blur.

What remains is a haunting sense of lost time and of life slipping away without having truly been lived.

Time Scarcity

Modern culture reinforces this disconnect. In the constant cycle of busyness, time is often treated as something to battle against—an enemy that is always running.

Women, in particular, report feeling trapped in what Libby Weaver, Ph.D., calls rushing woman syndrome. This is not a diagnosable syndrome but Weaver's term for the chronic state of being overwhelmed, where the belief that there’s never enough time drives relentless over-functioning. This state is not just a symptom of having too much on our plates but rather reflects deeper wounds around self-worth, powerlessness, or feeling unseen.

Many people unconsciously internalize the belief that time must be earned through productivity. Rest becomes a luxury rather than a necessity. The hierarchy of time, where work takes precedence and downtime must be justified, leaves little space for simply being.

This relentless drive can wear down the mind and body, contributing to anxiety, depression, burnout, and excessive stress. The more life feels out of control—through trauma, stress, or societal pressures—the more the rational mind might try to speed things up, believing that efficiency and accomplishment will bring security. Yet this strategy can backfire, leaving us more fragmented and disconnected from the deeper rhythms of life.

In contrast, the unconscious mind and the nervous system operate on slower, more organic timelines. Emotions and deeper healing processes cannot be forced to move faster. Reclaiming a healthier relationship with time requires aligning with natural rhythms rather than trying to master them.

Patterns Around Time Include:

• Constantly rushing through tasks or conversations without being fully present.
• Feeling guilt or shame when taking time for yourself.
• Struggling to set boundaries around your availability.
• Always trying to “catch up” and never feeling ahead.
• Living with a persistent sense of being behind.
• Overcommitting to prove your worth or build self-esteem.

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If any of these patterns feel familiar, you’re not alone. These struggles often stem not from poor time management but from deeper nervous system dysregulation and cultural conditioning.

Reclaiming Time

Healing your relationship with time starts by recognizing that time isn’t something outside of you—it’s something you feel. The way you experience time is a direct reflection of the state of your nervous system.

Moving out of survival mode requires slowing down in small, intentional ways. This might mean creating pockets of unstructured time each week, even if it’s just six hours. Over a year, that adds up to more than 300 hours of reclaimed life. This is time to nurture creativity and connection or simply to engage in rest and digest.

It also means learning to say no—not just to external obligations but to the inner voice that equates worth with productivity. Rest isn’t something to earn after you've crossed everything off your list. Rest is the foundation that allows life to unfold meaningfully.

Time as a Portal to Healing

When we begin to regulate the nervous system and live more intentionally, time starts to open. Moments stretch out. Life feels fuller. This shift isn’t just about better scheduling but about reclaiming the lost art of presence.

By tending to the hidden wounds that shape our relationship with time—trauma, self-worth, and the pressure to perform—we create space for something deeper to emerge.

Time itself becomes a portal into healing, reminding us that the life we're rushing to keep up with is already happening, right here, in this very moment.

Source: Jenifer Freedy / Used with permission.

This article was co-authored with Jenifer Freedy, who has provided psychotherapy, counseling, and crisis intervention for more than 25 years. Jen and Mark both provide trauma-responsive psychotherapy and help people reclaim their lives from stress in Ontario, Canada.