Finding Light in the Darkness: Lessons from Maurice Benard

As Suicide Prevention Month began, I sat down with Emmy award-winning daytime actor and mental health advocate Maurice Benard on his podcast, State of Mind, where he spoke candidly about his darkest moments: when he contemplated taking his life, and the journey that led him to discover the resilience he didn’t know he had. Benard speaks openly about his diagnosis of bipolar disorder beginning in his early twenties, the anxiety he's been battling since then that has at times felt paralyzing, and his memories of despair and hopelessness when he was psychiatrically hospitalized. Our conversation delved into many aspects of his journey to healing and living a fulfilling life. But the most important thing I learned from him that day is that hope is at the core of suicide prevention.

“I was at a point where I didn’t want to live. Every day was another day that I didn’t think I was going to be there. You just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and you will be able to get through it. Everything passes. This, too, shall pass. No matter what you’re feeling, never lose hope.”—Maurice Benard

Benard’s reflections about hope and survival from suicidal thoughts mirror what we know from research: hopelessness—and in particular, the feeling that one’s problems are unsolvable—makes people vulnerable to suicidal thoughts. Yet on a positive note, some of the most effective psychological treatments for people who are experiencing thoughts of suicide focus on finding hope. It’s not easy, but it’s doable.

What does the research say about suicide?

In 2020, suicide was the ninth leading cause of death for those ages 10-64, and the second leading cause of death for those ages 10-14 and 25-34.

Suicide does not have a single cause, but up to 90 percent of people who die by suicide have a psychiatric disorder, mostly mood disorders (with the highest risk among those with bipolar disorder, especially if untreated), substance use disorders, or personality disorders. People with overlapping mental health and addiction are especially vulnerable to suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

Warning signs that someone is thinking about suicide include:

Talking about:

• Wanting to die
• Great guilt or shame
• Being a burden to others

Feeling:

• Empty, hopeless, trapped, or having no reason to live
• Extremely sad, more anxious, agitated, or full of rage
• Unbearable emotional or physical pain

Changes in behavior, including:

• Making a plan or researching ways to die
• Withdrawing from friends, saying goodbye, and giving away important items
• Making a will
• Taking dangerous risks, such as driving extremely fast
• Extreme mood swings
• Eating or sleeping more or less
• Using drugs or alcohol more often

If these warning signs apply to you or someone you know, get help as soon as possible, particularly if the behavior is new or has increased recently. The bottom line: getting professional help for mental health and substance use disorders can make a difference between life and death, since having one or both can make a person vulnerable to suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

How can I help someone who is struggling with thoughts of wanting to harm themselves or die?
Here are two key things you can do right now to help prevent suicide:

1. If you are concerned about someone you care about, talk to them about it. Many people fear that if they talk to someone about this topic, especially a younger person, they might unintentionally plant a seed and cause suicidal tendencies even if they weren’t there to begin with. Studies show that the opposite is true – asking someone if they are having suicidal thoughts reduces suicide risk and can even help improve their psychological well-being. If you’re concerned about someone you care about, talk with them about it.

In fact, survivors of suicide attempts, when asked what would have helped them, have reported that asking about their suicidal thoughts, questioning their state of mind, acknowledging their despair, and providing a safe space for discussing their feelings and thoughts related to their desire to die could have been helpful.

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2. Don’t do it alone. Suicidal thoughts and behaviors can be reduced with proper mental health support and treatment. If you or someone you care about is experiencing emotional distress, confidential support from a skilled, caring counselor is available 24/7 on the 988 lifeline, which you can access by calling or texting 988. More information, along with links to connect with someone, can be found here.

Never give up. In Maurice Benard’s words: “There’s no one more fragile than me when I’m in that place, but if I can do it, you can do it.”

You can also call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services helpline 24/7 for treatment referral and information about mental health and drug or alcohol use disorders, prevention, and recovery in English and Spanish. Call: 1-800-662-4357, TTY: 1-800-487-4889, or text your zip code to 435748. Or visit here and on the Psychology Today Therapy Directory to locate a treatment facility or provider,