What if Everything You Believe About Yourself Is Wrong?

Source: DALL·E/ OpenAI

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Wow, I’m so inspirational!”? Then again, maybe your lingering thoughts are darker. Perhaps you have reached the conclusion that you aren’t really good at some things like mathematics, being organized, or maybe acting like a social butterfly.

These self-evaluations about where we excel and what we can accomplish feel real and accurate and determine things like the goals we set and what challenges we are willing to accept. However, research suggests our beliefs about our own motivation are often misguided and can become self-fulfilling prophecies that limit our potential (Meunks et al., 2018). But where do these impressions originate, and what can we do to orchestrate desired change based on reality?

Confluent research reveals that when we repeatedly hear or think about information, there is a strong possibility we come to believe the information as true regardless of accuracy or source (Kahneman, 2011). This problem is so severe that psychologists invented the label of illusory truth to describe the tendency to believe statements that are familiar, even when the message has previously been identified as false. In other words, recurrent impressions will result in personal reality that may or may not be accurate.

When told something repeatedly, we internalize that information, and it becomes part of who we are, and for some of us, this is a huge problem. Minimally, self-evaluations result in some of us becoming harsh critics of our own behaviors and values, while others are prone to inflated self-images. Either approach can be troublesome.

Self-impressions are influenced by biased opinions grounded in the interpretation of feedback but are also based on such factors as the type of relationship you had with your parents or guardians, socioeconomic opportunities, and a long history of cultural and biologically determined influences. The evaluations are highly meaningful because self-impressions turn into motivations and behaviors. Self-beliefs include many aspects related to values and personality, but when it comes to motivated behavior, these beliefs are focused on how people think about themselves, their capabilities, and the probabilities of achieving success.

Some belief-revealing statements might include “I can never be a (insert occupation or emotion, e.g., ‘doctor’ or ‘happy’) no matter how hard I tried,” “Hard work doesn’t matter much because success is based on who you know,” or “What’s the point being honest these days? People will just take advantage of you.” These types of statements easily reveal how and where you will invest your physical effort and emotional energy and when you will hold back.

What Happens in Your Brain

The real trouble with the acceptance of beliefs starts when we get into comfortable behavioral patterns that create neurological benchmarks in our brain, often described as sparking neuronal plasticity. These variations impact the production of important motivational, emotional, and effort investment neuromodulators like dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline (Maloney, 2021), the neurological messengers that broadly determine our thinking, motivation, and behavior.

Repetition means neural stability. What feels “naturally” motivating is often simply what we’ve practiced enough to find rewarding or, in some cases, debilitating. When your brain doesn’t get the rewards it craves, neuromodulation becomes dysfunctional, and you wind up being in a bad mood, feeling apathetic, and having less fun than having a new toy with no batteries. In the worst cases, you might develop depression or turn to risky behaviors like overeating or substance abuse to get the quick hit of mind-pleasing neuromodulators that your brain craves.

Breaking Free From False Beliefs

The solution is two-fold: calibrating beliefs with facts and embracing a growth mindset. First, recognize and adjust inaccurate self-beliefs. Start by questioning your narratives. Have they developed from sound evidence or hearsay and wishful thinking? Examine the stories that foretell your motivation. Are the conclusions based on actual evidence or the assumptions of others?

Start by considering alternative interpretations. Instead of accepting historical patterns as unchangeable, brainstorm reasons why your current view may be wrong. Think back to your greatest accomplishments and determine which conditions contributed to your success.

Apply those conditions to your current challenge. Ask yourself, “When do I engage more deeply? What barriers might be artificial or self-contrived reasons not to act and move forward?” Ultimately, focus on how your engagement commitment develops over time rather than making snap judgments about your “natural” inclinations.

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Second, realize that the hallmark of success is embracing a growth mindset (Yeager & Dweck, 2020), an unwavering belief that skills and intelligence are developed via commitment, hard work, and self-development and not by chance or manifest destiny. Embracing a growth mentality means welcoming challenges, persevering despite setbacks, and seeing failures as chances for growth, not a blemish on the portfolio of life. It means rejecting prior impressions and especially the expectations and reactions of others when determining what you need to do and feel best.

Realize that motivation is not fixed but rather dynamic and contextual. Instead of trying to discover your “true” motivational nature, focus on creating conditions that support engagement and growth.

Mindset individuals question assumptions, experiment with different approaches, and design supportive environments because they know they can break free from limiting self-beliefs. Remember, your current beliefs about what motivates you are not fixed truths, and your brain will thank you when you do the hard work to foster change from useless, self-limiting historical patterns of behavior that may be nothing more than a collection of false memories.

Thank you for the inspiration, Charlie.

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