4 Easy Ways to Increase Sexual Desire

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Sexual desire is more complex than you might think. If you’re used to having a steady or high sex drive, it can be scary when that changes.

However, it’s normal for it to change. Anything from negative body image, depression, stress, anxiety, a big to-do list, a busy schedule, grief, illness, boredom, a big promotion, or simply being in a long-term relationship can impact desire for sex.

Once you start having sex less frequently, you begin a cycle that leads to even less sex. This is because the less you have sex, the less you think about sex and the less you want to have it. Plus, if you’re having sex less often, you might feel guilty and start putting pressure on yourself, which is not conducive to sex.

It’s easy to end up in that cycle on the way to less intimacy in your relationship. However, there are many tools available to you to help you nurture your sexual desire, many of which are regularly at your disposal. When you know what to do, you can easily shift the cycle that led you away from intimacy in your relationship to one that brings you back to it.

The most powerful tool for cultivating sexual desire is your brain. When life gets busy, it’s easy for sex to end up being the last thing on your mind. If you’re not thinking about sex, you’re less likely to be in the mood. That’s why it’s important to utilize tools that help you think about things that turn you on.

The following is a list of easy ways to get in the mood and increase your desire for sex:

1. Talk about sex. I can’t tell you how many times a couple that struggles with intimacy finishes a session with me and has sex. This is because they just spent an hour talking about it. They didn’t intend to get turned on, but that's what happens when we think about sexy things. Having a conversation about sex is a great way to get your brain going with sexy thoughts.
2. Read about sex. Reading books with spicy parts is a great way to get turned on. You can try reading erotica or any story that has sexy moments mixed in. Reading things you think are hot is a great way to get your mind thinking about sex.
3. Fantasize. Your mind is an endless library of erotic possibilities. Imagine getting it on with someone you find sexy (this could be your partner or someone else).
4. Watch something sexy. Whether you put on porn or you watch something else that turns you on doesn’t matter. What matters is giving your brain something sexy to think about.

It’s OK if you’re not getting in the mood out of nowhere. You can utilize the tools listed above to help you get in the mood on purpose. Then, once you start having more sex, you’ll have your own sexual experiences to think about and get turned on by, too. This is a great way to begin a new cycle that leads to more frequent sex.