Misunderstandings of Mindfulness

Source: Josh Bartok/ Used with permission

Written By Lizabeth Roemer, Ph.D., and Josh Bartok, M.S.

Mindfulness practices, which are grounded in many contemplative traditions, including Buddhism, have become seemingly ubiquitous in our society. Broadly, these practices involve bringing awareness to the present moment with intention and care—again and again. The deceptive simplicity of the practice opens the door for misunderstandings that can undermine its benefits. Here we review some of the common misconceptions we’ve encountered when teaching mindfulness practices across different contexts.

Mindfulness is not about clearing, quieting, or emptying your mind

People often approach mindfulness practices as “meditation” with a goal of clearing their minds or quieting their thoughts. This expectation can easily lead them to describe any practice session as a “failure” because thoughts arose or they felt “distracted.” This is, in fact, the undeniable and universal context for practice. Thoughts always arise—because we are human. The mind secretes thoughts just as the stomach secretes digestive enzymes. Amid the arising of thoughts, we practice with them.

We can notice that our minds get busy, that we have thoughts of failing, and feelings of frustration—and then gently bring our attention back to the present moment, again and again. Each time our monkey mind jumps to something else we have the opportunity to practice bringing our attention back to our chosen object of mindfulness (the breath, the dishes, the physicality of sitting, for example). This practice allows us to develop the skill of noticing things as they are, including busy minds, critical thoughts, and wandering attention.

We may, at times, find that our thoughts slow down a bit during practice—this too is natural and human. But thoughts slowing down is not “success” and thoughts arising is not “failure.” If we try to “clear our minds” and push our thoughts away, we are likely to paradoxically find that our minds get even more busy and we feel more distressed. Pushing thoughts away is a practice of aversion, and ultimately a cause of suffering. Whereas mindfulness practice is, in fact, a practice of deep acceptance, again, and again, and again. And this becomes a source of choiceful freedom.

Mindfulness is not contraindicated for people with busy minds

It’s natural for people whose minds are habitually busy to imagine mindfulness practice as something that isn’t for us, as something we are uniquely unsuited for. But, in fact, the opposite is true! Practicing mindfulness is exactly the tool we need to work more effectively with our busy minds (for instance, with our worrying).

Moreover, because we don’t have access to the content of other people’s minds, it’s easy to assume that their minds are quieter and better suited for meditation or mindfulness than ours. This is a classic example of comparing other people’s (seemingly calm) outsides to our own (apparently chaotic and always busy) insides.

Practicing our ability to notice a busy mind, and returning again and again to our chosen object of mindfulness, allows for some spaciousness around the busyness. This increases attunement to what is happening in the moment, even amid cascading thoughts and worries, and allows for a flexible, values-consistent response.

Being mindful does not mean being unemotional

Similar to the (unhelpful!) goal of a clear, quiet mind, often people approach mindfulness hoping it will make them inwardly unemotional or unreactive. Mindfulness practice can lead to greater equanimity, which is sometimes described as being calm or composed. However, we find it more useful to consider mindfulness as a path to reducing reactivity and instead promoting choiceful words and actions.

You may still feel intense emotions as responses to the real sources of pain and threat in your life. But a mindfulness practice can help you notice these emotional responses as they arise and not become entangled with them in ways that lead to acting solely from the emotions that arise. Instead, the spacious awareness from mindfulness creates an opportunity to choose how you want to respond. Experientially, this can feel like being less buffeted around by reactivity, and therefore more equanimous. This is freedom amid emotions rather than freedom from them. Emotions are, after all, an important part of being human.

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Being mindful is not being detached, above it all, or transcendently calm

A related misconception comes from common popular images of monks and meditators — they are often described as non-attached or somehow “above” the vicissitudes of life. By association, practicing mindfulness can be seen as a way to transcend common concerns and as a kind of specialness. Instead, we invite you to consider mindfulness practice as a way to be more fully present amid all of the human realities of our lives, amid our struggles, reactions, and our interconnectedness with others.

Practicing mindfulness requires setting aside time for formal meditation

Although some types of practices may involve setting aside time or removing ourselves from daily routines to increase our ability to be attentive, the goal is to come back into our lives with compassionate awareness and presence. You can practice mindfulness as you brush your teeth, do the dishes, or listen to loved ones. Mindfulness is, fundamentally, just the practice of doing what you are doing while you are doing it. Moreover, some studies show that informal practices of mindfulness—right in the middle of our busy lives—are more associated with prolonged improvements than just formal meditation practice.

There is no single “right” way to practice

Certain types of mindfulness practices get more attention, which can make it seem like everyone needs to practice the same way. Often people imagine they have to set aside a significant period of time, sit cross legged, and use the breath as an anchor. This is one approach, but people can also benefit from mindful movement (walking, dancing, yoga, tai chi, etcetera) or informal mindful practices. Psychologist Shelly Harrell highlights the importance of recognizing the cultural embeddedness of contemplative practice. She incorporates music, movement, poetry, and proverbs in her "Soulfulness" approach. While long practices and retreats can genuinely help to build the habit of mindfulness, repeated very brief (even 3-5 minute) practices can also build habits that are more integrated in one’s life.

Being mindful is not the same as being complacent

Mindfulness practices are often presented in isolation, and can seem separate from meaningful action. When contextual factors and structural oppression are ignored, they can be misused as instructions to be comfortable with injustice (Harrell & Malebranche, 2026). However, as Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said, “Meditation is not to escape from society, but to come back to ourselves and see what is going on. Once there is seeing, there must be acting” (cited in Harrell & Malebranche, 2026). Psychologists and other scholars have highlighted the ways that the inner work of mindfulness connects to meaningful social justice action (for instance, Harrell, 2022; Magee, 2021). Mindful practices can facilitate nonreactivity and clarity that facilitates meaningful, choiceful actions, rather than supporting avoidance and inaction.

Josh Bartok is a contemplative photographer and life coach. They are the author of two children’s books and several collections of inspiring quotes.