How to Rewire Trauma Responses—One Rung at a Time

One rung at a time. Trauma recovery isn’t a sprint—it’s a steady climb. Every step matters.

Source: Shannon Nicholson/Used With Permission

Consider, trauma isn’t just a memory—it’s also a physiological loop. This might be a new way to think about trauma for you. Experiences don't live just in your mind. They rewire your nervous system. That’s why trauma responses—panic, shutdown, hypervigilance—often occur even when you’re not in danger. What may surprise you is that your body is protecting you based on the past, not the present.

Healing requires retraining the nervous system to feel safe again. This process of nervous system regulation is one of the most effective ways to recover from trauma. Whether you’re healing from a health crisis, a bad relationship, a loss, or chronic stress, nervous system regulation shifts your body out of survival mode so it can rest, connect, and heal.

One way to understand this process is to think of trauma recovery as climbing a ladder. You don’t leap to the top—you move one step at a time. You stabilize, breathe, and trust that the next rung will hold.

3 Tools to Regulate Your Nervous System

First, Breathe Low and Slow
When your nervous system is activated, shallow breathing sends your brain danger cues. Deep, diaphragmatic breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system—your “rest and digest” state—and signals safety.

Try this: Inhale through your nose for four counts, exhale through your mouth for six counts. Repeat for one minute.

Why it works: This simple breath pattern stimulates the vagus nerve, which regulates stress and emotional responses.

Second, Ground in the Present
Trauma pulls us into the past or future—replaying what happened or fearing what could happen. To regulate your nervous system, anchor yourself in the now. Sensory grounding helps shift your brain out of fear and into presence.

Try this: Press your feet into the ground and name:

> 5 things you can see
> 4 things you can touch
> 3 things you can hear
> 2 things you can smell
> 1 thing you can taste

Why it works: The brain trusts concrete sensory data. This calms emotional flooding and restores a sense of control.

Third, Stop Over-Gripping and Trust Your Tools
When we feel unsafe, we tend to cling—physically and emotionally. But real stability comes from balance. Trauma can teach us to over-rely on certain coping strategies while ignoring others. Regulation often means loosening the grip and trusting the full range of your resources—your breath, body, boundaries, and support system.

Try this: Ask yourself, “What am I clinging to right now? What would it feel like to soften just a little?”

Why it works: Letting go of rigidity opens the door to neuroplasticity—your brain’s ability to form new, healthier patterns of response.

A Real-Life Example: 140 Feet of Perspective

While traveling through New Mexico recently, I visited Bandelier National Monument and found myself climbing a 140-foot wooden ladder carved into the cliffs by the Ancestral Puebloans.

My body immediately went into alarm mode: My hands trembled, breath shortened, legs stiffened. Even though I was relatively safe, my nervous system registered the situation as life-threatening. Trauma often works like that—it doesn’t ask whether you’re in danger; it assumes you are.

Halfway up, I found my breath. Sometimes healing means pausing, not pushing.

Source: Shannon Nicholson/Used with Permission

Halfway up, I paused. I focused on my breath, the sun on my back, the wind on my face. I stayed with what was real, in the moment. I heard my husband coach me through my fear of heights, "One rung at a time, baby." My panic eased.

But the bigger lesson came on the way down.

As I descended, I clung hard to the ladder—knees locked, knuckles white. That’s when my husband gently said, “You’re gripping too much. Use your feet and hands more evenly. Trust them. Trust yourself.”

It hit me: I wasn’t just overusing my knees—I was replaying an old trauma pattern. I was bracing for a fall that wasn’t happening. And I was ignoring tools (like my breath, balance, and body wisdom) that could help.

That descent was the most profound metaphor I’ve lived for trauma recovery. Healing isn’t only about climbing out of the hard place—it’s about learning to come down with trust and grace.

The Next Rung for You

You don’t have to climb the whole ladder today.

This ladder—carved by ancient hands—became my metaphor for trauma healing. The path may be steep, but each rung leads to strength.

Source: Photo credit: Shannon Nicholson/Used with Permission

You don’t have to “get over it” or “be fixed.” Healing happens in micro-moments. Each time you ground yourself, take a breath, loosen your grip, or choose a new response, you’re changing the story your body tells about safety.

Ask yourself: What’s the next rung I can reach for?
It might be a breath. A pause. A boundary. A hug. A walk. A truth spoken out loud.

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Climb gently. You’re doing it.