Want to Be Happy? Start by Being Kind

Source: Image by Eglantine Shala from Pixabay

What do a newborn baby, a lion cub, and a puppy have in common? They evoke an almost universal response in us: a feeling of warmth, a desire to protect, and a sense of gentle affection. This is the power of innocence. It’s a purity and defenselessness that melts our hearts. We instinctively know these creatures won’t hurt us; they are simply beautiful beings we want to love and cuddle.

This instinct runs deep. In places like Istanbul, countless cats roam the streets, yet they are treated with a striking reverence. People walk around them, feed them, and care for them. They are part of the city’s heart. Our wiring is so strong that we are often most repulsed by acts of cruelty directed at the innocent. Harm to a child makes national news because it violates this fundamental human principle. Nature itself echoes this drive. A mother grizzly bear, though half the size of a male, will risk her life without hesitation to protect her cubs from him. She embodies the fierce, unwavering defense of innocence.

Our response to the world is largely dictated by this internal compass. We see an innocent act and respond with kindness, love, and compassion. We witness a cruel one and feel dislike, animosity, or even hatred. We are constantly judging the actions of others through this lens. But the most important judgment, the one that runs on a continuous loop throughout our lives, is the one we turn upon ourselves.

The Cycle of Kindness

If we cherish innocence and kindness in the outside world, it follows that we must value it within ourselves. Our actions, when aligned with these values, create a beautiful, self-reinforcing cycle of happiness.

Think of a puppy joyfully licking a stranger’s face. It’s a spontaneous act of love that brings immediate joy to both. We may not go around licking strangers, but we can embody that same innocent intent. I was recently in an airport and saw an elderly man from another country struggling to drag a large, heavy suitcase down a long flight of stairs. He was exhausted. Without a second thought, I grabbed his bag along with mine and carried it to the bottom for him.

He didn’t speak a word of English, but his radiant smile said everything. He was so deeply thankful. For the rest of our journey through the airport, he would catch my eye and give me the biggest, warmest grin. The truth is, my heart glowed. Helping someone in a moment of struggle filled me with a profound sense of well-being. This is the magic of kindness. It’s a spontaneous gift that rewards the giver as much as the receiver.

The Weight of Unkindness

The opposite is just as true. When we act against our innate sense of goodness, especially towards the innocent, the self-loathing that follows can be astronomical. It creates a heavy, lasting wound on our souls.

I share this with hesitation, but it’s important. One of the worst things I have ever done involved two cats I adored in college. Due to work and travel, I could no longer care for them, and my parents, who were in transition, couldn’t either. After failing to find them a new home, my only remaining option felt like the local pound, which I believed was a death sentence. In a moment of desperation, I drove out to the Iowa countryside. I found a farm and, too afraid of rejection to knock on the door, I simply left the cats by the side of the road. As I drove away, one of them ran into the middle of the dirt road and just looked at me.

That image haunted me for years. It was a long time before I could even think about it without crying. The possibility that I had condemned these innocent creatures to a terrible fate was an unbearable weight. While I have since worked through it, forgiven myself, and done much to make amends in my life, that memory serves as a stark reminder: hurting the innocent hurts us.

Choosing the Innocent Heart

Life will constantly present us with choices. We can choose the path of kindness or the path of cruelty. This doesn't mean we become doormats. We can and should protect ourselves and set boundaries when others mean us harm. But we can do so with calmness, not rage. We can defend ourselves without becoming cruel in return.

The true path to happiness lies in cultivating an innocent heart—a heart that, like a child, looks for wonder and beauty in the world. When we practice small acts of kindness, we begin to change how we see ourselves. We look in the mirror and see a good person, a kind person. And because we are wired to love and protect innocence, we begin to love and protect the burgeoning innocence within our hearts.

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We all have things in our past we regret. We’ve all made mistakes. The key is not to dwell on them but to learn from them, forgive ourselves, and choose a different path today. Today is a new day. We can choose to be the person who helps with a suitcase, who smiles at a stranger, who acts with love and compassion.

By practicing kindness, our hearts become lighter and gentler. Happiness stops being an elusive prize we chase and instead becomes a constant, warm companion, an old friend who is simply there with us, throughout the day.