Work Is More Than a Paycheck

When we meet someone for the first time, “What’s your name?” is usually followed—almost immediately—by “What do you do?” It often comes before we even ask, “How are you?” This small but telling sequence shows just how deeply work is woven into our sense of self. So when work is lost through layoffs, retirement, illness, situational factors, or unexpected life changes, the grief that follows can feel both overwhelming and invisible.

For many, especially in Western societies, careers serve as a central pillar of identity. Research shows that people often define themselves through their work roles, which offer a narrative for who they are, where they’re going, and where they’ve been in terms of time, effort, and education. Job titles, daily routines, and professional affiliations offer not just income but a sense of stability, structure, and self-worth. What happens when these pieces of the puzzle are missing in our lives? The void can feel fragmented and incomplete, and can even correlate with mental health. A recent study by Herr et al. (2023) found that meaningful work has a positive effect on mental well-being, demonstrating that the more meaning people derive from their work, the better their overall mental health tends to be.

Work as Meaning

Work isn’t just a series of tasks; it’s often where we often “find ourselves” in tangible, hands-on ways. Think of a time when a job sounded interesting and meaningful, and now imagine actually starting the position. Moving from hypothetical to real allows us to recognize how jobs highlight our strengths and challenges since, as it turns out, being a rocket scientist is more difficult than it seems, even if we have the qualifications on paper. Work is a place for people to find meaning and passion and make a real difference in the lives of others. Work can give us a reason to get up in the morning, provide a rhythm to our days, and offer a sense of purpose that grounds us and makes us feel vibrant and alive, like we are making a difference in both our macro and microsystems. Think of the legacies of public figures like Oprah Winfrey and Thomas Edison—our thoughts, opinions, and memories of them are influenced by their work.

The Social Aspects of Work

People don’t just walk into an office and get to business. There’s small talk, there’s banter, inside jokes, and story-swapping at the coffee machine, all of which build both formal and informal networks that influence our careers. These daily interactions are sometimes overlooked, and we may classify “coworkers” into a subpar category from our intimate relationships. However, collegial interactions—even through the exchange of lighthearted repartee and “how’s the weather” pleasantries can offer a real sense of community. When these interactions are gone, the resulting loneliness can be hard to name. We may or may not call coworkers "friends," but their presence can still be genuinely missed.

Work as a Practical Foundation

There’s also the pragmatic side of work: salary, health insurance, retirement contributions, and the financial framework that supports daily life. When those disappear, grief is often tangled with fear and anxiety about taking care of basic needs. Even when a transition is expected or chosen, like retirement, it can usher in a new and sometimes jarring reality of budgeting, restructuring routines, and redefining purpose without a paycheck.

When One Door Closes…

It’s trite, it’s clichéd, but it’s often true: Job loss can sometimes nudge us out of roles that no longer truly fit. Many of us stay in jobs out of habit, fear, the comfort of the familiar, or the lingering hope that things might improve. Being let go can be devastating, but it can also force us to pause and reflect. Without the usual structure holding us in place, we may discover the freedom to pursue work that’s more aligned with who we are and who we’re becoming. Growth rarely shows up when we’re comfy-cozy; it often crashes the party uninvited, arriving when we’re most off-balance and unsure.

If Work Is So Central, Why Is This Grief So Often Invisible?

Unlike the grief of death or divorce, the loss of work is often seen as temporary or transactional. People move jobs all the time; career shifts are framed as opportunities for reinvention. As a result, the emotional fallout is often dismissed by others, and even by the person going through it. But the loss of work is more than a logistical challenge. It’s a rupture in identity, routine, meaning, and belonging, and it deserves to be recognized as such.

What Helps?

• Name the Loss: Acknowledge that you’re grieving—because no job is just a job when it’s a part of your story. Validation is the first step toward healing.
• Find New Anchors: Consider which aspects of work mattered most, such as purpose, structure, or connection, and look for ways to rebuild those in new settings.
• Lean on Support: Talk to others who’ve experienced similar transitions. Shared stories can reduce isolation and offer perspective.
• Allow the Process of Grief to Unfold: Grief is rarely linear. The emotions tied to career loss may ebb and flow in a fluid, nonsequential direction.

Workplace grief is often carried in silence, tucked behind resumes, LinkedIn updates, and polite responses like “just exploring what’s next.” But behind that quiet is a real sense of loss—of structure, identity, relationships, and purpose. Whether you’ve walked out of an office for the last time, packed up a box of office supplies, or logged off a final Zoom call, the space work once filled doesn’t just disappear. Naming that grief doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it means you’re human. When we let ourselves feel the impact of workplace grief, we make room to connect with all of the parts of ourselves—past, present, and future.