Gift-Giving Guidance

Getting Exactly What You Want

Posted Dec 11, 2012

Nobody is a mind reader. Yet for some reason, when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day or the winter holidays, people seem to think that their lover is going to give them the perfect gift. Their partner is going to get them exactly what they want, no problems. So gift exchange is often one of great disappointment, with the gift giver faulted for not knowing any better. Sound familiar? 

If so, put an end to such let downs once and for all! This coming holiday season let your lover know exactly what you want. If it’s within reason – as in affordable and attainable – then it can only be met with success. And make sure that your lover gets the message loud and clear. Dropping hints like, “Oh, this is nice” or “I’d love to have this” doesn’t get properly processed by a lot of people. So instead, try the following…

Take pictures of what you want and share those with your sweetie.

A good friend of mine has a sister who snaps photos of jewelry she wants when she sees it. Before sending the image with her camera phone, she texts her exact location. That way, her husband knows precisely what to look for and where. He can still, however, own the element of surprise in that she doesn’t know which ring, earring, bracelet… he’ll select for the occasion.

Tell family members what you want.

And give them all of the details needed to get you what you want exactly. My father often asks me for ideas on what to get my mother. Last I’d heard, she was digging the Keurig coffee maker. But when I went online to track it down, I found that Keurig offers a host of brewers to choose from. My father and I had no clue which one she was keen on. Needless to say, family members need to help each other out in not only planting seeds, but in providing details as well.

Send email links of what you want.

Take the time to copy and paste links from your favorite online shops and put them in a “few of my favorite things” email to your honey. This is a great option for those of you wanting to give guidance, but who are longing for a little surprise.

Check in with your honey, giving suggestions even if things are under control.

I don’t really need anything. Life is good, and I’m a minimalist when it comes to my space and material possessions. But I still don’t want just anything if somebody is going to get me something. So I asked my husband if he knows what to get me (he claims that he knows what I need). I also told him to tell anybody asking for ideas that gift cards are good (in allowing me to do more for my little one), as well as donations in my name to good causes like St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital.

Be perfectly blunt.

Don’t be shy in letting your wishes be known. Even Santa has needed a little bit of help with your wish list. Don’t set your sweetie up for failure. Tell him or her what you’re hoping for, offering more assistance if necessary.

People love to please, and knowing the very thing that will bring a smile to your face will only have everyone feeling happier this season.

About the Author

Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, MSEd, ACSE

Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a certified sexuality educator, sexologist, professor, columnist and author of nine books, including The Better Sex Guide to Extraordinary Lovemaking.

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