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Wanting the one you're with
Laurie J Watson PhD, LMFT, LPC
A person's sexual life is profoundly revealing about their inner world, secrets, desires and capacities for love and pleasure. Why knowing this could deepen your own intimacy.
A "still face" in the bedroom often communicates disconnection from a lover. Managing our own reactivity allows for curiosity to explore what it really means.
For couples, emotional connection and sexual intimacy are dynamically related to each aspect of a marriage. Difficulties in sex destabilize connection.
Does one of you push for more frequency and the other withdraws feeling drowned by the requests? Rather than duty sex, here are ways the sexual withdrawer can change the dynamic:
Grieving is a complex topic. Sex is a complex topic. Talking about both may seem awkward, but for anyone in a relationship, the reality is, sex and grief will eventually converge.
Premature ejaculation is really about anxiety and the problem is the more you worry about it the worse it gets. Sex problems disconnects couple increasing the the pain.
You want sex and your partner couldn't care less. Begging for connection only drives your partner further away. Why does this negative cycle get so stuck and what can we do about it?
With all the fun and festivities coming, ironically, the holiday party is often a minefield for couples.
Every partner initiating sex hopes for an excited reaction from their lover. As long as we are honest, vulnerable, and direct, we can refuse and still stay connected.
For people going through cancer, sex can be a powerful affirmation of aliveness – many patients say it is one of the most important markers for their quality of life.
Women who think their sex life is lacking often assume it’s because they don’t have a perfect body or that they don't act like a porn star. False.
Most men come to sex therapy to learn better techniques. But while it is important to know what she likes specifically, his sexual skill isn’t usually what’s causing the problem.
You may not realize that negative messages received throughout a woman’s formative years can have a profound impact on how she sees herself sexually.
Forty-five percent of couples in treatment to help with infertility report having sexual difficulties. Sex "on the clock" creates pressure, boredom, and more.
If sex hurts, you won’t want to do it. It’s estimated that about 20 percent of women suffer vaginal pain with foreplay or intercourse.
Couples often ask me, as their sex therapist, how they can spice things up in bed. I think this question, most often, is really a request for permission to act on their own ideas.
Sexting has gotten a bad rap—and with good reason. Plenty of people have gotten themselves into hot water by sending inappropriate texts and pics... but here's a reframe.
Are you divorced and entering the dating scene a decade or two after you last went out for drinks? You are probably wondering about how the sexual game has changed.
Body image can really mess with our heads—in bed. And for women, criticism of our bodies can have the biggest impact on sexual desire.
The relationship between alcohol and sex is tricky. It can help us open up to healthy sexual activities, but there are risks too.
Depression can have a profound impact on sexual relationships. It can hamper our ability to feel emotionally secure with our partner, and it can rob us of our desire for sex.
“Stealthing” is a form of sexual violation that is as deceptive and dangerous as it sounds.
Morning sex vs. evening sex – it’s an age-old conflict. Men wake up aroused with a testosterone spike, so morning is prime time. But women often prefer a relaxed evening time.
Premature ejaculation—usually reaching climax in one minute’s time—is the number one sexual dysfunction among men, and its biggest consequence is shame.
The most common argument presented in sex therapy is “How often are we going to have sex?” — an important attachment question. Here are 5 do's and don'ts to resolve differences.
When Jenny's husband of several years barely ever initiated, she started to believe he wasn’t attracted to her anymore.
As most menopausal women could probably tell you, “the change” is about much more than just what is going on physically.
Let’s face it: Two bodies can make a lot of sounds and smells that are anything but sexy. Here are some embarrassing difficulties you might encounter – and how to handle them.
In the early years of a relationship, sex is hot, hot, hot! But can married couples keep sexual passion alive over the long haul? Long-term desire is rooted in something deeper.
Though it’s still taboo for many, there’s been a cultural shift when it comes to heterosexual anal sex. Do women enjoy it? What if he wants it and she doesn't?
Laurie Watson is an AASECT certified sex therapist and the podcast host of FOREPLAY - Radio Sex Therapy on iTunes. She lectures at Duke and UNC’s medical schools and can be reached at AwakeningsCenter.org.
Sex blog for people who want to have hot sex and intimacy with one person - their spouse.