What if People Came With Instructions?

Wouldn’t it be nice if the people on our team, the people we lead, came with instructions? If you came with instructions, what would your user manual say about you?

When we buy a toaster, it comes with information to help us get the best out of the toaster, including instructions for how to keep it in good working order, what the various buttons do and indicators mean, and what not to do (e.g., submerge it in water). Why can’t we have a user manual so that we could more easily understand the people who work with and for us — their preferences and behaviors, what their various indicators mean, and how to work effectively with them? We can. By creating personal user manuals.

What is a personal user manual?

A personal user manual is a document about us—our work style, preferences, habits, and tips on how to understand and work with us.

Why would I want to utilize user manuals on my team?

If we create a user manual for ourselves, and each member of the team we lead creates one for themselves, we can then share them to help us get to know each other a bit better. Our user manuals help us understand people and their behaviors and save us time in appreciating how each of us is unique and has different strengths, preferences, and reactions. The practice of creating and sharing user manuals can help us to find common ground, understand differences, build relationships, and jumpstart collaboration.

Creating a user manual is an exercise in self-understanding for the person creating the document, helping them to become more aware of their behaviors and how these behaviors may impact others. It’s also an exercise in understanding others when that document is shared with a team. A user manual helps people get to know one another quickly and understand how others like to work and communicate, which helps people collaborate more effectively. It also helps us avoid misunderstandings. For example, some people shut down, go quiet and inward, when they are under stress, while others tend to be irritable and impatient. So, knowing how others respond to stress helps us interpret these behaviors.

How do I create and use a personal user manual?

A user manual’s purpose is to help us get to know others. What would you need to know about others (and what might they need to understand about you) to work together more effectively? Using a series of open-ended questions that each team member answers can be an effective means for creating a guide to working together. Here are some categories that can be helpful:

About Me

• The five adjectives I’d use to describe me are . . .
• What might surprise you about me is . . .
• My key strengths include . . .
• Something I’m working to get better at is . . .
• A hero of mine is . . . because . . .
• My key values are . . .
• What some people sometimes misunderstand about me is . . .
• What gets me really excited is . . .
• What really irritates me is . . .
• How you’ll know that I am feeling stressed or overwhelmed—my “tells” are . . .
• The best way to deal with me when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed is . . .
• Here’s something I love to talk about . . .
• The ways I like to relax and recharge include . . .
• Other things you should know about me include (e.g., hobbies, parenting, sports, reading tastes, etc.) . . .

How I Like to Work

• I try to structure my day so that . . .
• I am most productive during these times . . .
• I am most available during these times . . .
• An open door means . . .
• A closed door means . . .
• What’s important to me in a work environment is . . .
• Some traits and qualities I value in other people I work with include . . .

Communication Preferences

• The best way to contact me is . . .
• Something you should know about how I like to communicate is . . .
• What makes meetings more effective is . . .
• My communication preferences (e.g., if there are different channels for different types of communication, expected response times, if it’s okay to bcc others or "reply all," etc.) are . . .

How I Like to Give and Receive Feedback

• I prefer to receive feedback (e.g., immediately/weekly/other; written/face-to-face/other) . . .
• The way I give feedback is typically . . .

How can I implement a user manual discussion?

Creating and sharing user manuals can be very helpful when starting a project and the team is coming together for the first time, or when you are onboarding a new team member. They can also be effective when a team isn’t gelling and needs an intervention, as oftentimes team problems arise because people don’t understand each other and expect others to behave just like they do, which creates misunderstandings and unresolved conflict.

To initiate a user manual practice, first explain to people what a user manual is and how it can help them to understand and work together more effectively. Next, give people the questions to answer for their user manual, so that everyone is answering the same questions, giving them a platform to understand their similarities and differences. You may also offer to review a draft for people on the team, to make sure their responses will be helpful to others.

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When sharing user manuals, set up a meeting to do so and make sure that you share yours first. This shows that you are serious about the practice, allows others to see you model transparency (and perhaps vulnerability), and sets the tone for the meeting. Let each person present their own user manual, explaining their answers. For example, some people may have different interpretations of certain words or behaviors, such as “as soon as possible,” or “introvert,” or a variety of other ways people may describe themselves, their strengths, behaviors, and preferences. It also lets them share examples that may be helpful to others. Also, give people on the team the opportunity to ask questions of the presenter to clarify and deepen their understanding.

At the end of the meeting, it may also be helpful to have a team meal together. This permits people to have less structured conversations and build relationships based on their newfound knowledge.