Narcissism
Where Did All These Narcissists Come From?
Exploring whether narcissism is increasing or if we're overusing this diagnosis.
Posted January 21, 2025 Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
Key points
- Narcissistic personality disorder is rare, but subclinical narcissistic traits are much more common.
- Narcissism is often overused as a label, oversimplifying behaviors and unnecessarily pathologizing people.
- Excessive labeling of narcissism harms relationships by closing the door to understanding and growth.

Your ex is a narcissist. His parent is a narcissist. Her friend is a narcissist. Everyone’s boss is a narcissist. We even worry that we’re narcissists. And we all live in fear of realizing that we have this disorder because it seems like everyone and their brother has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Why is this term suddenly everywhere? Can there possibly be this many narcissists, especially when prevalence rates aren't increasing? Let’s take a closer look at what’s really happening with this popular word.
A Quick Definition of Narcissism
Since this term is everywhere, chances are you’re already familiar with what it means. NPD is defined by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for excessive admiration, a lack of empathy for others, and a willingness to exploit others to achieve their goals because they feel entitled and superior. They appear overly confident and condescending but, in reality, they have very fragile egos and are quick to feel wounded (and when they do, they lash out).
To be diagnosed with NPD, a person must meet five of the eight total criteria and exhibit a pattern of maladaptive relationships starting in early adulthood. In addition, their behaviors need to cause significant difficulty in their lives, such as negatively impacting their success at work or damaging their personal relationships.
A core feature of NPD, like all personality disorders, is that the symptoms are persistent and inflexible. Individuals with NPD exhibit long-standing patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that deviate from what is considered normal or healthy functioning. These patterns are consistent over time and across various contexts.
How Many Narcissists Are There?
While getting an exact number is always difficult, the best estimates are that 0 to 6.2 percent of the population meets the criteria for NPD. While that’s up to 20.7 million people in this country who do, it’s a tiny fraction of the entire population of 334 million people. This number is large enough that we should be informed and somewhat alert, but it’s not enough for there to be as many narcissists as people are claiming.
However, plenty of people have narcissistic traits, such as lacking empathy or needing admiration, without meeting the criteria for the clinical disorder. They may not warrant a diagnosis, but they’ll still struggle. For example, they may have difficulty maintaining close bonds with others or will constantly seek new ways of getting attention and praise. These people can undoubtedly be difficult or frustrating to be in a relationship with due to these subclinical traits, but that doesn’t mean they have NPD.
Why Are We Seeing Narcissism Everywhere?
Increased access to mental health information has educated us about disorders, including NPD, and the more we know about them, the more we see them. As we learn more, we start labeling traits once considered hurtful or annoying as full-blown NPD. This tendency to diagnose can be tempting, as clinical terms offer a framework for understanding difficult behaviors or people. However, sometimes we jump too quickly to a diagnostic explanation when it’s not accurate.
Almost every behavior can be seen through the lens of narcissism. If someone demands praise for their work, it seems narcissistic since they have a need for admiration. If we feel our partner doesn’t understand how upset we are, we think they're narcissistic because they lack empathy. If our parent demands we come home for the holidays instead of going on the vacation we’d planned on, we decide they’re entitled narcissists trying to control our lives.
The problem is that many of us (perhaps most, even) act narcissistically at times. It’s a normal part of the human experience to need admiration for a self-esteem boost, to want special treatment so we feel important, to feel superior as a way of staving off insecurity, to be jealous of what others have, to struggle to empathize with someone who’s upset with us because we're so wrapped up in our perspective, or to think we’re unique and special, at least sometimes and to some degree. What matters is the consistency, magnitude, and impact of these traits.
For example, many of us feel envy, but is it constant? Does it preoccupy our thoughts? Do we act on this envy, damaging relationships along the way?
The Problem With Claiming Narcissism
While the desire to explain hurtful behaviors is understandable, and the attempt to avoid or shield ourselves from engaging with people who have NPD is reasonable, the excessive use of “narcissism” is causing more harm than good. It leaves little room for people to be flawed, to misstep, and to have bad days (or weeks, or months!). And without room to err, relationships will end prematurely, when they could have grown had there been more space for imperfection.
Humans all have some narcissistic traits. Sometimes it’s a mild but persistent need for others to admire you; other times, it’s a phase of increased narcissism because of challenging life circumstances that make you sensitive and unempathic. But jumping to the label of “narcissism” without understanding the nuances paints an inaccurate picture, where the reasons for someone’s actions or complexities of their personality are overlooked.
Another danger is that it’s hard to walk back a claim of narcissism. Deciding someone is a narcissist will forever alter how you view them. Every word and action will be seen through that lens, encouraging you to fortify your diagnostic impression even if it’s not true. And it will cause a rift, even if unspoken, that will lessen your relationship and take away the opportunity for change and growth.
Remember, people can have traits of narcissism without having NPD. And we can allow people to be frustratingly imperfect (even outright flawed) without diagnosing them. We’re all doing our best, but sometimes we fail at being a great parent, sibling, child, friend, boss, employee, or partner. Let’s save the NPD diagnosis for the small percentage of the population who actually meets the criteria and choose to see everyone else in a more understanding or forgiving light.
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-5-TR (5th ed., text rev.).
Smith, J. A., & Doe, R. B. (2023). The stability of narcissistic personality disorder prevalence rates: A review of recent studies. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 79(5), 1023–1035.