Why Are Men Mad About Mammaries?

Why do men love breasts?

Let me count the theories:

1. Freudian (breasts remind men of their moms and the nurturing of childhood)
2. Evolutionary (breasts resemble buttocks, and prehuman ancestors always mounted from behind)
3. Reproductive (breasts are an indicator of age, and big breasts, in particular, are a marker of high estrogen levels, associated with fertility).

Do these reasons sufficiently explain why breasts are beloved, even in cultures that don't eroticize them any more than the face?

If not, here's another:

Breasts facilitate "pair-bonding" between couples. Men evolved to love breasts because women are likelier to have sex with, and/or become attached to, lovers who handle their breasts.

This idea came up in New York Times journalist John Tierney's interview with Larry Young, a neuroscientist famous for his research on monogamy. According to Young, "[M]ore attention to breasts could help build long-term bonds through a 'cocktail of ancient neuropeptides,' like the oxytocin released during foreplay or orgasm."

The same oxytocin circuit, he notes, is activated when a woman nurses her infant.

When women's breasts are suckled, as they are during breastfeeding, the hormone oxytocin is released. Oxytocin helps the mother bond with her baby. She feels loving and attached. The same reaction might happen if a man sucks and fondles a woman's breasts during foreplay. Therefore, the logic goes, men pay attention to breasts because doing so may help them attract and retain mates. In our ancestral past, most titillated men may have been more likely to pass on their genes.

The "boobs-help-bonding" theory may not be the strongest explanation of why men have evolved to love breasts, but it's worth introducing to the debate. That said, there are many ladies out there for whom a lover's suckling does nothing, and there are many breast-ogling boobs who know nothing of foreplay.